SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I haven’t rented since I was early 20s. Any advice on not getting scammed? I checked on rental yesterday, but the Facebook profile name makes me question if it is legitimate.
How do you verify?

After we fully separated (we nested for almost a year... would not recommend it), I got a two bedroom apartment in a dedicated rental building near my kids' schools. Perfect location, and since it was run by a large corporation, it was run very well. Pricey but worth it in terms of how much I saved in fuel snd time, not driving the kids everywhere. I don't know your situation, but if you don't have kids or have them part-time, you might want to explore an area with a high walkability score. That will give you the ability to get out and explore a bit. I lookedvatva map ofvour city and circled areas that were suitable, then drove around them looking for rentals.

I looked for a place for 3+ months and found it helpful to make a list of needs and wants. My challenge was that there was no way I could afford a three bedroom, so I needed to find a place that had a nook that could fit a bed for me so that each of my girls could have their own room. There was no way they could share as my younger has adhd and is a complete slob.

The nook was just big enough for a double bed and two side tables. I put a wardrobe at the foot to act as our entryway closet, so I had to leave my room to get to the other side of the bed. We spent 3.5 years there, but it was filled with memories. I'll always remember it as the place I did my healing.

About the 4.5 year mark, I finally got a crappy townhouse that I just love. It has many of my needs and wants.

Finding a place of your own can be a really exciting time. You can reclaim your personal space and create a haven of peace and healing. Hope things work out on your new chapter...

My oldest son rents, so I asked him to keep an eye out and let me know if something became available near him. Do you have friends that you can ask?

Just make sure you meet in person before you sign anything or agree to anything. And I agree with the advice to find someplace walkable. I moved downtown in a small town and it was fantastic. I could walk and walk and walk and it was so healing. I especially appreciated being able to get out and just get a cuppa coffee without having to drive anywhere.

Admit the first week or so were really hard, but after that, I found it to be my refuge, and my healing accelerated rapidly.

I helped a friend who got dumped by his long term spouse find an apartment twice recently now. First place for 2 years and second to get more space and office area. I also have rented a few apartments for various reasons while also owning in the past. So I have a few thoughts that might help…

There are legitimate local rental sites and agencies as opposed to marketplace or other places. We found both of their apartments on this site. Scammers are a very real risk if one is not careful.

They needed to heal physically, financially and mentally so chose very basic apartments that were managed by reputable entities and they were as close as practical to work.

We checked out the location of the apartments at various times of day and night considered the terrain, weather, parking, commutes etc

They checked out the cost of utilities and chose an apartment with significantly lower costs of utilities (just because of the electrical provider and the energy efficient features).

They were able to stay with a roommate situation with someone they knew at first so they were able to fix their credit their ex ruined, save for high deposit costs, and get a great rental reference (not suitable for everyone but worked for them).

They picked a place that was very modest in price for their income.

They saved to have 2 months rent and 100 percent of the rent deposit.

They got advice and help understanding the lease terms as appropriate.

They would never rent a higher floor apartment in a building with stairs and no elevator again

Some people have been able to find nice situations by word of mouth as well.

Use a real estate agent. Landlord pays the fees.

Oh please be so cautious! I run a housing assistance program for domestic violence survivors and we do see scams.

If it’s with a private landlord, look up the property owner ship in your county records. For sure go inside the unit and make sure it’s vacant. Sometimes scammers will have someone else who they say is a friend meet you at the unit and then say you can’t see it because the current tenants aren’t out yet, a big red flag.

Be wary of being asked to send a holding fee or deposit before you know all the facts. Where I live the housing market is very tight but you should be able to check it all out before giving any money.

Make sure you read all details of the lease and have the landlords contact info.
It’s heartbreaking when I see survivors get scammed and I have fallen for a couple too.

Good luck!