SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi everyone

Long story short, she cheated on me 9 years ago, tried reconcile didn't work, now she dumped me, went away for family emergency and she escalated to police and to my work place.

I an in disbelief?

Am I going crazy ? I started talking to myself loud like I'm sitting with someone. Then I go look at the mirror and talk to myself.

I'm a bit scared of thus thought must I just stop or is this is normal.

I so so scared to go for counselling I feel when I was worse maybe I didn't do it, If I do it now maybe it means I'm admitting I'm messed up and crazy it is like I'm a verifying it. I'm so scared to entertain counselling

Have anyone of you felt the same or had similar symptoms?

I feel my ex is not who she was, I don't know if I'm lucky or dumb not seeing all this cheat then her pulling this.

Thank you

Going to counseling does not make you sick, just liking going to a doctor doesn’t give you cancer. You should seek help when you need it.

You have suffered long term trauma and it sounds like you could use some help. Denying that you need help does not somehow make the problem go away. I strongly recommend you seek some counseling. It is a sign of strength to seek help when it’s needed. If you grew up believing it is a sign of weakness, it is time for you to challenge and overcome that unhelpful belief.

It took a long time for me to go for regular counseling. Mostly due to the stigma of old. The bottom line is SELF CARE is not SELFISH.

While the shock and awe of my trauma is somewhat in the rearview mirror I still do semi regular touch bases. It allows me to get the toxins out and purge my system.

There is NO SHAME in purging your system. NONE.

No you’re not crazy.

You are extremely hurt and traumatized and you need to talk to someone.

You are in isolation and that’s why you are acting out.

Get counseling.

Keep yourself busy.

Make sure you are completely no contact.

Delete all mutual friends, don’t look at her social media.

Get rid of all gifts, letters, ect. Anything that reminds you of her.

You and her are completely over.

Make the break as quickly as possible.

Only complete removal of her and time will help you.

I’m sorry. But if you take action you will recover.

Best of luck!

If you can, see if you can get an IC who is a betrayal trauma specialist. Bonus points if they have infidelity trauma, too. You're not going crazy. Infidelity is the worst pain I've been through.

Please take care of yourself because this is tough.

I think it's normal to be messed up when one's partner has left without notice and without explanation. It would be healthy for you to accept that and get help.

We can help some, but you really need to get support in real life, face to face.

Not getting help right now ... that is driving you crazy. You owe it to yourself to be kinder to yourself. You are not alone. Get help.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:24 PM, Friday, March 8th]