SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Does anyone know of any face-to-face support groups for wayward wives (for my wife)? I attend ISA meetings and find them helpful but I have found very little targeted at wayward wives. Those that I have found are focused on love addiction/sex addiction which is not her problem. Others are not women only. She has already completed Hope for Healing from affairrecovery dot com. Thanks!

As a general warning:
Be very careful before sharing any personal information with another member of this site.
We do our best to defend your anonymity, but if you take part in one-on-one or direct contact with other members there is nothing this site can do to protect you.

To the OP:

Have your wife create her own profile and post (maybe even with a Stop-sign) in the Wayward forum. There are plenty of excellent former WS here that would take her under their wing. If that leads to a place where they are comfortable with more personal contact... then that’s on them, and after a period of verification for them.
As-is your request is expecting a lot of trust from strangers.

I think you're answering the other question I asked in a separate post (about the analog of AA sponsorship). Thanks for the input.

My question from this thread remains - whether anyone knows of any support groups for WWs? (analog of 12 step meetings)

Hi. Welcome.

I'm not going to answer your question. But I feel this needs to be said..

The couples that have the best chance of true reconciliation, are the ones in which the ws does the heavy lifting. She has to do her own work. She must be proactive in finding resources to guide her through this. She managed, presumably, to have an affair without your help. She should be the one on here,asking about in person support groups, or asking about communicating one on one with a fww. She is capable. If she really wants to become a safe partner, this is her work. Not yours. Doing it for her will not help her,or you.

It sounds as if she knows about this site. So she should sign up,and post. Typically i wouldnt suggest bringing a freshly caught WS here. This should be your safe place. But, if she does know about it, this is an invaluable resource for BS, and WS who truly want to be a safe person.

[This message edited by HellFire at 4:37 PM, Tuesday, April 30th]

I'm sure your response is coming from a good place. So I thank you for that. However -- it's ok if you don't want to answer the question, but I didn't ask for a lecture on Codependence or advice on my marital situation. I already have enough professional help there. I asked a legitimate question and have received no answers and two well-meaning but condescending lectures. Please ignore my question. I retract my question and won't ask for any further help.

Having your wife ask in the wayward forum would give you the best odds of a favorable answer to your question.

but I didn't ask for a lecture on Codependence or advice on my marital situation. I already have enough professional help there.

Just know that these threads are read by lots and lots of people who are members and otherwise. Even if you don’t value a response, someone else might. It might help them out.

I didn't not answer your question to be rude. I am unqualified. I'm not a ws.

This is a site that offers advice, on how to heal from infidelity. That's what I was trying to do

Good luck to you.

I apologize for my tone. It was inappropriate. I know you're trying to be helpful.

You're fine.

My advice is individual counseling IC and her visiting the Wayward forum here on this site. Just keep in mind she can see what you post and you can see the same. It’s not always a healthy dynamic.

Hi Razor,

I'm not a WW, but I've been here for 7 years now and I do not believe that I've ever seen anyone talk about an in-person support group for waywards. I have heard about marriage recovery seminars or sessions and support groups for betrayeds but never what you're specifically seeking. That doesn't mean that they don't exist, but I imagine if they do, it's probably pretty rare and likely only in major cities. Because of the anonymous nature of our site and the desire of most members to protect their own privacy, I imagine that members might be hesitant to share specifics of something rare and in-person that might identify them on a public messageboard, particularly to a new member that they have not established trust with.

My purely anecdotally based opinion as someone who has reconciled with their WS and read a fair number of stories here, I don't really see how a Wayward support group would have been all that useful in my husband's own healing process - at least not in the AA-type model you're describing. I think IC and then MC were both very useful for him, but the stuff that was being discussed was very specific/personal and to be honest, it took a fair bit of time before my husband was even able to identify the specific areas that he needed to be working on (and most of those issues, were not really related to the A in a direct way - though the A was likely a byproduct of them). I have seen peer-based relationships and informal coaching amongst former WS and newer member here, but that has often taken place in the context of rapport/connections being built organically. It's not a service that members typically offer out as a rule.

Is there a reason you prefer group to a one-on-one counselling type setting?

Hey Razorfish.

I am a WW and have looked into what you are asking about. The only one I have found is the one you mentioned above. That’s not to say that maybe it doesn’t exist. ICs are great at providing resources we can’t find on our own. Is your WW with a counsellor that might be able to suggest something

We are both in IC and MC. In addition to that, she found the Hope for Healing course and EMS weekend helpful because she was able to meet people who had done some similar things and was able to feel a certain level of empathy for them. Both were f2f settings. It helped her with self-empathy a bit which is good because she demonizes herself. Support groups and group therapy can sometimes be helpful if for no other reason than knowing that you're not alone. Online forums like this, of course, can provide similar benefits.

Anyway, it looks like I have my question answered. Thanks for the thoughtful replies.