SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

That is insane Elle, I would be curious to know what she said too, but you know it would lead down the rabbit hole :(

Elle

Best of all is to ignore the OW completely.
However... if she’s messaging your daughter I would want to know the content of those messages.
If it’s "hi how are you and have a great day" or something like that, well... chances are you can’t do anything about that. Not unless your divorce and custody agreement has some clause (usually non-enforceable) about mutual consent from both you and her father about who can contact her.

If the content has anything to do with why you are divorcing or issues that she – as an outsider – should NOT be discussing with a minor... I would seriously look at getting a restraining order.

Maybe have a third party – a good friend or sibling – look at the messages and evaluate the content. That way YOU don’t have to smell the shit, but can protect your daughter.

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A very tough part of divorce is the realization that you are absolving the former of some responsibilities and expectations. You can’t prevent your ex husband from dating someone and even introducing that person to your daughter. Eventually that person could become a constant factor in your daughters life, and it is to YOUR advantage that the relationship is long-standing and good. Most people have the decency and sense to wait with introducing new friends to the kids, but then – most people have the decency to remain faithful...