SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Had an argument it came up that he told the affair partner about my posts on here. This was many years ago but I just found out this person had access to my business. He found my posts on computer I guess he was always spying on me.
I posted all my pain and sorrow here. The mental torture I was going through, pregnant, working, taking care of our 3 yr old and on top finding out about all his b/s. It was an awful time for me.
I can’t believe this woman got access to my business through my pathetic husband.
She must have enjoyed knowing about all my pain caused by my husband.
I know this happened so many years ago but man oh man did I marry him the most disloyal piece of work!

Quick question, did you stay with your husband?

I just read your post from two years ago, you were contemplating divorce after discovering he had been cheating/chatting again.

Your husband sounds extremely immature, I would be freaking livid knowing my spouse exposed my private thoughts to a stranger, esp an affair partner.

I'm sorry. :(

There is something about this that deeply disgusts me. Telling his AP about your posts on SI…that is just another level of cruelty. To even know about it, to read your hurt, and to tell his side piece about it so he can keep getting laid or whatever, that is sick.

Are you still with him?

If so, why?

Does this mean we can speak directly to the AP through this thread?

The affair happened I. 2007-who knows.
2 years ago I did find some things I posted about with a new possible affair partner and I did talk to an attorney but divorcing isn’t as easy as I wish it was. 2 of our kids would still have to have some sort of arranged visitation with him and co parenting with him is awful, I have tried before and it really sucks.
But my son (he has a disability) will be 18 in about a year and a half and no court should be able to force me into custody agreement for him. My youngest will still be a child but he can talk and it won’t be forever.

Cris, i have no advice.

I just want to offer you a safe virtual hug.

Im so sorry

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 8:45 PM, Saturday, June 29th]

Thank you.

I am really sorry this happened to you. Many of us have had very personal things shared with aps and can relate to your post.

Sending ((virtual hugs))

The ow in my situation found me here.

We had a few mutual friends. One of those friends borrowed my laptop for a few days, and I believe she saw my history, found my posts,and shared them with ow.

Ow showed up here, and eventually became a member. She lied about her husband,and her marriage. Claimed to be terribly abused. (I know this was a lie. She is the one with the DV record, and one of the times she claimed to be cowering behind a locked door,with their kids, he wasn't even in the same state..he and the kids were visiting his parents.) But the members here didn't know she was a liar, so she got the sympathy she was looking for. She would follow me around, disagreeing with my advice,trying to taunt me into a confrontation. I didn't know who she was,at first,until she emailed me to let me know exactly who she was on here.

I have never named her. Never will. She wants that. She wants me to discuss her. I'm only mentioning this now,because I wanted you to know you aren't alone. It's a huge violation.

However..your husband is the one who betrayed you, horribly, by showing her your posts. That is such an enormous violation. They laughed at you. They talked about it. It was funny,to them. If my husband had done that, that would be a deal breaker. Divorce is hard. Living with a man who showed you zero consideration, and used your posts as a way to bond with the whore? That's a fate worse than divorce.

The ow continues to stalk me here. When she's not in jail. She can't post,because she got banned. I know she follows me here, because she makes sure I know. I once mentioned being a CSA survivor,and a few days later, self help books arrived in the mail. She's vile.

Just know..she read your posts here before...she will continue to do so.

Your husband should be deeply ashamed.

[This message edited by HellFire at 6:26 PM, Sunday, June 30th]

Absolutely completely vile on both their parts. What a fun time for them, laughing at your pain and using your innermost thoughts for their conversation topics. My blood boils just reading this.

I'm sorry they both suck so much. I fully understand not wanting to share custody with this awful man, but I hope you'll be able to D once the kids are out of the house. He's sick.

HellFire He just confessed to this recently. At the time I was posting about his affair how I wasn’t sure what was going on etc (I had never been cheated on and found out). I did feel at the time that I was getting some very weird messages I can’t remember exactly but it was something like "I hope you don’t take him back, sometimes things are missing in a marriage etc.) but maybe wasn’t her.
I know cheaters are not loyal but letting the other person in on your spouses private pain and business is a new level of low. And to tell me makes me absolutely disgusted.

Revenger I believe my husband is a narcissist it might even run in his family I saw his sister do some awful things to her husband. I’m sure he has no idea.
I think this dummy was probably was love bombing this woman proving how much he was willing to do and tell her. Probably being totally transparent with her and I was being mistreated because I was being devalued.
So he was in the love bombing stage with her and I was at the devaluation stage.
But everything is so clear now looking back. At the time I was pregnant and I’m sure she looked for my posts there too. Very sad I can’t as having a very complicated pregnancy with my disabled son.