Webbit (original poster member #84517) posted at 2:25 AM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2024
Once you have started to feel ok for ‘most’ of the time, when you feel like life and marriage is getting back to normality is there like some sort of honeymoon phase?
Sometimes I feel so loved again, like at the start of a new relationship BUT will this all just come crashing down around me???
[This message edited by Webbit at 3:15 AM, Wednesday, October 9th]
hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 5:39 PM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2024
Yes, to some extent I do think there is a honeymoon phase, and honestly the pendulum is likely still gonna swing in the other direction yet. I think for us it was glimpses of bonding, then bonding with a a lot of retreats. The retreating because shorter and further between over time. It’s normal to not feel safe and wonder when the other shoe is going to drop for some period of time. It’s very hard to be vulnerable again consistently. Totally normal.
7 years of hard work - WS and BS - Reconciled
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 4:00 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2024
This is normal. I'm years out and I still get those occasional dips.
When those dips happen I up my self care (think long showers, deep conditioner on hair, etc.), I practice a hobby (long walks w/punk rock music blaring in my ears or crochet - stab something with a stick and twist then donate the items), I remind myself that while my world may have gone mad I can trust myself and be my own rock of sanity, and...remind myself, I have an emergency Rx of Xanax that there is no shame in using if need be.
It gets better I promise. But like anyone who has lived through any trauma, it can come haunting from time to time.
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
