SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Last week I had a post about seeing the AP for the first time.

WH and I had a big fight but it was not about the affair. It was about him and his behaviour after I saw her.

One thing I realised now though, after we have yelled, screamed and finally calmly had discussions is that this is the first time our fight wasn’t about the A itself. It was the first fight where I didn’t throw the A in his face but rather concentrated on what I need from him to be a better partner. And yes he may have not handled himself the way I wanted him to exactly but at the same time he actually handled the situation way better than he would have before.

We have also just a a family long weekend away and not once did I think of the A, in 4 whole days. I hate to admit it but I didn’t log on here until we got home. I think that’s a massive leap for me.

That's good to hear (I think!). I don't know how I'd react if we bumped into my WW's AP: I think she'd be more bothered than I would, especially bearing in mind that, after the affair, he was briefly arrested (but not charged) for harassment of her. In a certain way, I wish we would bump into him - and preferably his wife as well - so that she could see that it doesn't move me.

Anyway, I hope you feel you are making genuine progress in your post-affair journey.

IMO, resolving issues is a major, crucial part of R. It's also a major, crucial part of M and daily life in general. My experience was that 2011 and 2012 were time in which A-related issues predominated, and then life issues started taking more time and A issues less. For us, R morphed into M.

So IMO, yeah, this is progress.