SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My divorce papers are filed and will be finalized after the new year. WH is still living at my house in the guest room until he can get his own place, which should be the end of this month.
We aren't telling the kids about the divotce until he's moving out so they don't get confused. Legally we are still married.

All that being said, his dumb ass sent me a text tonight obviously meant for another woman. All 3 times I've caught him, it's been though his phone. You'd think he would learn...

I know we're not living as a married couple amymore, but dang, it still hurts to know he's at it again. Can he not just wait until he moves out?

I guess I should just condider it further confirmation that divorce was the right choice.

I really don't want to be married to him anymore and I know I'll be better off not carrying the burden of trying to hold a marriage together all by myself, but why does it still have to hurt so much?

Because it just does. It will take awhile before you are detached enough where it doesn't hurt. It took me about 10months after having my own place when I was finally able to be content, but acknowledge my kids are adults and I didn't have to co-parent.

It's like the death of the future you had planned, even if you don't realize you had plans.

There's a thread here to rant and stay NC, so feel free to use it.

You are right- he was showing you who he is. Again.

And yeah, what a douche canoe to do that under the same roof and be stupid enough to text you.

Breathe deep. Acknowledge the pain. Stab a voodoo doll of him. And keep your eye on the prize- you will be D soon.
You might also look into a parenting app so maybe you can just block him on your phone once you have D’d. You don’t need his stupidity continuing.

Hang in there!

He’s not cheating because of you, he’s cheating despite you.

He can’t wait to "resume" his cheating because it’s all he has. He needs the affirmation and ego boost from other women to keep him happy and feed his need for validation.

You have to remove yourself from the notion "he’s cheating on me because I’m not good enough" and replace it with he’s cheating because HE’s not good enough to have respect, boundaries, compassion etc.

It took me years to understand my H’s cheating had nothing to do with me. Though he tried to blame me for his unhappiness— in the end he realized it was all a lie and he was unhappy b/c of reasons that had nothing to do with me.

I didn't have to go through in house separation. That's it's own kind of torture.
My ex was horrible. Nothing but vitriol and ugliness. It hurt, A LOT at that time. Now, I'm grateful he was so horrible. I never had to second guess my choice to divorce and I fell out of love with him pretty fast once I saw who he really was behind the mask.
I'm sorry you're hurting, and nothing will make it better initially. However, you will get passed this and look back and be grateful you won't have any regrets. In the meantime, be very kind to yourself and pamper yourself a little extra. Wish we could all give you a hug IRL.

Thanks for being a safe place to vent.

The initial sting of realizing he was back to being his true cheating self was just that, a sting. The pain didn't last too long. I just don't care enough anymore to let his actions consume my thoughts like they used to. Yay for progress!

Fortunately, things are amicable at the house, so it's not torture having him here. He's just a roomate that the kids interact with on the occasion he can be bothered to think of someone besides himself.

The parenting app is a good idea. I don't need to accidentally receive any other mistake texts, that's just gross to even think about.

Thanks for being a safe place to vent.

The initial sting of realizing he was back to being his true cheating self was just that, a sting. The pain didn't last too long. I just don't care enough anymore to let his actions consume my thoughts like they used to. Yay for progress!

Fortunately, things are amicable at the house, so it's not torture having him here. He's just a roomate that the kids interact with on the occasion he can be bothered to think of someone besides himself.

The parenting app is a good idea. I don't need to accidentally receive any other mistake texts, that's just gross to even think about.