SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Just wondering the the title is true? If so, it's quite strange that the subreddit is quite anti-R with maybe only less than 10% people who are considering or going through R.

This website however feels more pro-R.

Any idea why the discrepancy?

Not affiliated.

I wouldn’t say this site is pro R or pro D. Just comprised of people with different experiences. A lot of us encourage personal healing as the main focus and getting out of infidelity with the outcome that works for them.

Forums tend to have some diversity but often like minded people can gravitate towards each other and stay. What resonates for them will magnetize them to one forum over another. And the only at the forum is moderated can also influence that.

But we have lots of members here that participate in different forums. Probably you will have someone say they follow that group too.

I would just remember that no matter what people on the internet say, you have to follow your own gut and do what’s right for you.

No affiliation whatsoever.

I think the main differentiator with this site and many others is the cost of membership. Not a direct financial cost, but rather the text displayed on the Welcome page:

All who have been impacted by infidelity are welcome here,

Basically – to register and contribute you need to have experienced infidelity. On many other forums there might be a broader base – like the forum that subredit is from you can post on the e-bike subredit, the fly-fishing subredit and others with no requirements of knowledge or experience.
Here we do request you have experienced what we are dealing with.
I venture that 99% (if not 100%) would claim that infidelity was a dealbreaker and that we would leave a cheating spouse if asked before discovery. However, that hard stance might change once we are really in those shoes.

If you think suggesting reconciliation is a possibility makes a site "pro-R" then yes, this site definitely is pro-R. After all – we have a reconciliation forum. But we also have a divorce forum, and we that post try to be supportive and realistic based on the options the person asking has open to him.

Thank you for clearing that up. I didn't actually think there was an affiliation, but today, I was reading a post on the subreddit where someone linked to this website for reading materials (they were on the whole against R). It just made me wonder.

(sorry, double post)

[This message edited by JustHereAndThere at 2:54 PM, Friday, November 15th]

Doesn't SI own the right the word SurvivingInfidelity.com ?

I thought that the R in the circle behind Survivinginfidelity.com meant SI registered it as a trademark.

I sure hope there's no affiliation.

When I looked for guidance after d-day, I found a few forums before I found SI. Most were either for aps, which added to my trauma, and others saw no value at all in WSes. I finally read a thread from a WS who was looking for help. She was attacked repeatedly, and someone said 'Go to SI. They treat WSes like humans beings.'

I just can't see WSes as irredeemable. I can't see BSes as without flaws. I see lots of shades of gray and lots of colors, as well as black and white, in life. Life is nuanced, IMO, and the other forums I didn't see any of the important nuances.

I found SI almost 2 months out from d-day. I was on a slow path to coming out of shock. I didn't know which way was up. On other forums, people pushed their own solutions without recognizing that every new BS who posted was probably a lot different from themselves. (I hope that sentence works the way I want it to.... ) The variety of views expressed on SI was a tremendous help to me. Also, SIers seemed to be more about helping me find my own way and less about doing what they did.

An example of what I think is lousy advice I got from some forums: put my WS in a room with pen and paper and give her one chance to write down a FULL timeline; D her if they don't do it. That's just not how memory works.