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My soon to be ex and I finally told the kids (6 & 8) that we are divorcing and dad would be living in a different house.
It wasn't as bad as I had feared, but my 8 yr old keeps asking why we are doing this.

I've explained:

That it's a grown-up situation and it's nothing she caused or can change

That it will make me a better mom and dad a better dad

That in the long run she'll come to understand more that this is for the best

That we didn't plan for this to happen, but sometimes adults make decisions that can change who they are, and it just stopped being the right thing for us to be married

Does anyone have any advice on how to answer the repeated 'why' question (appropriate for an 8 year old) Or, if any of the things I've tried metioning are good answers or if I should stop using any of them.

Thanks in advance.

My children are adults, so I didn't have to go through finding age-appropriate language. Hopefully, some others will join in with some more advice.

What about something along the lines of this:

When people get married, they make special promises to each other. Your dad broke those promises more than once, and hurt mommy really bad. (Then add what you've said below.)

Just as we BS need to -- kids need to make sense out of what has happened and why. Sometimes this means asking the same question again and again. i know i did this and i am grown up (for the most part). That said kids do understand promises and breaking them.

I would go with something along the lines of what leafields said and with as little of ' things are going to be better' as possible. That whenever they have questions or are just having feelings about it all to come and find you.

Thanks for the suggestions. Feel free to keep them coming.

I have told her she can talk to me any time and I'll do my best to answer her questions.

I've had time to adjust to knowing the divorce was happening, but this is all new for my daughter, so I get the confusion and the desperation she's feeling. Not that I belive there is a magic answer that would make her world all OK again, but man, what I wouldn't give if there was something I could say to take all of her pain away.

It kills me to see her hurting.