NoThanksForTheMemories (original poster member #83278) posted at 12:08 AM on Wednesday, August 5th, 2026
This is it: the final DDay! Divorce Day, that is. Today it's official.
Today, I get to say, "I'm divorced," not "divorcing" or "getting a divorce." And I can drop the "soon-to-be" from WX.
I thought I'd be be more emotional, more upset, but it's been a slow fade this past half year as we unwound 28 years of marriage.
I'm still sad about it - probably always will be at some level. I grieve the future that could've been, for us, for our child, for the people we shared our lives with. I have no desire to start a new relationship with someone else - not because WX was some kind of soulmate, but because I can't bear the thought of repeating the pain I endured the past few years. Never say never, but the walls guarding the pieces of my heart are sky high, and the moat beyond that is abyss deep. I feel safer in my fortress, and I know I will protect and cherish myself.
I'm also happy. To be free of him, of his lies, his entitlement, his lack of discipline, his ability for self-delusion. I'm happy to have control over my finances. To live in a healthier way, in my own place and space, by my standards and values. I'm happy and grateful to have the support of my family and close friends, to be surrounded by love, even if it's not the romantic kind.
I'm also incredibly grateful for the community here and the support, wisdom, and guidance that has been offered to me over the past several years. Y'all are the best - truly! I will do my best to keep paying it forward.
WS had a 3 yr EA+PA from 2020-2022, and an EA 10 years ago (different AP). Dday1 Nov 2022. Dday4 Sep 2023. False R for 2.5 months. 30 years together. Divorcing.
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 12:39 AM on Wednesday, August 5th, 2026
Happy Divorce Day!
I'm still sad about it - probably always will be at some level.
Maybe. Give it a little time and I think you'll find that peace of mind, body and spirit is truly priceless. I'm not sad about it at all.
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 8:59 AM on Wednesday, August 5th, 2026
May you lead a happy and fulfilling life free from the drama of living with a cheating spouse.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 2:06 PM on Wednesday, August 5th, 2026
Congratulations on being HEALTHY again by making such a great decision for YOU 
! It has been over 40 years since I divorced my 1st H who was also a cheater...and I have NO regrets 
. Ending anything can be a little sad...but it seems like you are already seeing the BENEFITS from your decision...and that is something that will make you HAPPY!!
You wrote that you grieve what the future could have been for y'all. His actions show that your future together would have probably included another A...and that is NOTHING to grieve for. Now you KNOW your future will not include an A with HIM...and that is something to celebrate for sure !!
I am so HAPPY to see you ENJOYING your new life!! Thank you for sharing this with us !
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:21 PM on Wednesday, August 5th, 2026
I think I understand mourning what might have been. I expect you'll get through that. And I thank The1stWife for tis:
May you lead a happy and fulfilling life free from the drama of living with a cheating spouse.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 3:28 PM on Wednesday, August 5th, 2026
Congratulations on the final step out of infidelity! Time does soften some things, but others will remain sharper. Treat yourself today to mark the occasion. On the day a friend’s divorce was final, a bunch of us took her out to dinner. Funnily, it happen to have been Valentine’s Day 
(Takes 6 months here for a divorce, so her fall filing just ended up with Vday as the final day).
Your future will be beautiful.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:36 PM on Wednesday, August 5th, 2026
Wishing you many years ahead of a flourishing life, peace and happiness. While it's not what we expect will happen when we get married sometimes it is what is needed to regain ourselves and sanity back.
I'm still sad about it - probably always will be at some level.
I too think this will change one day. Probably will get to healthy acceptance of what couldn't be changed and that your life is better now for it.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
WB1340 ( member #85086) posted at 12:40 AM on Thursday, August 6th, 2026
I'm happy you finally have peace and stability! The future can only get better
D-day April 4th 2024. WW was sexting with a married male coworker. Started R a week later, still ongoing...
NoThanksForTheMemories (original poster member #83278) posted at 5:11 AM on Thursday, August 6th, 2026
Thank you all for the kind wishes. I didn't really commemorate the occasion, but I did have a nice outing to dinner and a movie with my daughter. I'm seeing friends tomorrow and Sunday, though, for there will be wine!
I too think this will change one day. Probably will get to healthy acceptance of what couldn't be changed and that your life is better now for it.
I hope I'll see it that way one day.
For now, I have zero regrets about divorcing WX. I'm WAY less stressed out (and my heart monitor backs me up on this)!
My sadness comes from not having the "grow old with my college sweetheart" that was my dream for 3 decades. I wish he had been a different person and that my life hadn't gone this way. Still working on getting to a healthy place with that disappointment. Hope to join those of you who are further along in the process and slide over to the happier end of the bench one day.
WS had a 3 yr EA+PA from 2020-2022, and an EA 10 years ago (different AP). Dday1 Nov 2022. Dday4 Sep 2023. False R for 2.5 months. 30 years together. Divorcing.
7m46s ( member #86651) posted at 9:41 AM on Thursday, August 6th, 2026
What happened to all of us here and everything that came with it is deeply ambivalent. It's rarely black or white. More often than not, it's both at the same time.
My therapist says that being able to hold that ambivalence is one of the most mature things the human mind is capable of. So give yourself permission to hold both feelings: the relief and the sadness.
When my first marriage ended in divorce (also because of infidelity), I told myself: It wasn't all bad. Just the ending was.
And the longer your marriage lasted, the truer that becomes.
The door to your new life is open now. I wish you nothing but the very best!
