SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Think you completely missed the point, Rusty, if looks or money are your criteria. And it’s no ‘crutch’, it’s called taking the knife out of one’s back.

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A cheater is a dog. Dogs love to roll around in something rotten and stinky. A person who knowingly sleeps with someone who is married is a pathetic loser.

A pathetic loser is never a step up.

In my case, the OW was 70 (I was 56) She had lost a lot of weight, so had hanging skin. She had a body with no ass and a big stomach: Looked like an elf. She was a liar, manipulative, enjoyed nasty pornographic poetry (unrefined) and not too bright. What did my husband see in her? She wanted him and was as sick as he was. She was an easy lay - didn't take much work on his part. She stroked his ego. Oh yeah, also because she told him that he had a golden dick Also, at 70 YEARS OF AGE, she diddled herself in broad daylight in her Subaru to arouse my husband. Can you imagine what trauma young children in the next car would have experienced so see a grandma doing this? For a long while after I found out, I would ask my WH if he had a hard on every time I saw an old woman when we were out. Hostile, but satisfying.

So this is something i struggle with- she is the same age as me, hispanic like me- my ex is 8 years older, so i really felt replaced for a better model. By better model though i am beginning to realize that yes she's younger like me, but she had her kids really young, so she had free time as opposed to me- during the affair her youngest went from 13-18, while mine went from 5-10 years old. She also managed to lose her "mom' weight during that time- which is easy to do as your kids get older and you have time. my ex was constantly on me but never gave me the time to get to the gym, i was busy raising our son and working- while he was busy working and fucking his whore. And of course she only saw him at his best - at work and at a hotel or dinner out. She never saw his nasty personality, his cheapness, his cpap machine strapped to his face every night- she got the best and he probably got the best from her. one thing that cracked me up once i looked into her and went to her house is that her house was a mess- clothes on the couch, stuff all over tables- all things my ex hates in a person. And also he is crazy when it comes to debt and money- well i guess he didn't know about her house being in foreclosure..... so they show each other a facade and she also was in a different part of her life that my ex didn't have the patience for us to get to. i was actually looking forward to our son going away to sleep away camp because we were going to get a break- we never got to that or any of the time to be fitter, spend more kidless time togther- because he wanted it now and woulnd't wait for our life to catch up to where she was in life. So for me- it's his loss, because guess what i get to get fit and live that part of my life with more time- with someone who is worth that time. she's his subordinate so they'll never be able to go public and on top of that i'm pretty sure he knows better than to ever attempt to have her have any kind of relationship with my child and he knows i'll make his life a living hell, so i doubt he'll live happily ever after with her- he may be with her but it's not a full life. And then i just laugh cause she has no idea what he's really like and i'm sure he didn't know about her debt and her messiness, and as soon as he gets on her about that stuff she'll see what a horrific person she is. so in my case at first i thought he just tried to replace me for what life might have been like in another 5 years but in the end he'll realized just how far he fell.

Holy smokes I love this post! You've helped me feel that much more powerful. It threatens WH when I get powerful. He gets moody and quiet. Then amazingly positive things befall our clan and he goes with it for a short while. Then he tries to check me and take me down a notch, when in all reality I'm a bright and shiny light and I blind the hell out of scum. All the low lifes want to do is shut down the light and lurk in shadows. Shine bright my fellow BSs. You're shiny and bright and deserve to know that every day. Don't doubt your power.

Don't doubt your power

Great line!

And more importantly my H doesn’t doubt my power because he knows I will leave him in a heartbeat. For whatever reason.

Oh in my case, not only did my WW affair down, but her AP also affaired down once you get a load of these two:

WW: Had all the trappings of a good life, loving husband, MIL (my mom) that did all the cooking and cleaning and also babysat for us. Upper middle class lifestyle, respect of the community, friends and colleagues..... Then... Cheats on her loyal successful husband with her boss, who was not only married, but his wife OBS was 7 months pregnant at the time they got together. My EXWW is a lowlife, with low moral, corrupt and lies to to save her own ass. One day, prior to D-Day when I suspected something, I asked her if she was cheating and having an affair, and she swore on our childrens' lives. REALLY? She lied and swore on our children's lives about not cheating when she was. She's bankrupt morally..

Her affair partner: Shorter than me, serial cheater. This is the 3rd time his wife has caught him in an affair, actually I caught them and contacted his spouse. Cheating on his spouse while she's 7 months pregnant! This point alone should make him undateable. What a loser. Have been notified by his exwife that he is also a child predator, she is sharing names with me and I'm going to the sheriffs. As if this is not bad enough, I also learned from his exwife that he has a limp dick, and could not get it up to get her pregnant, so they had to go invitro for the last pregnancy. He is also on massive amounts of antidepressants. He's got to be a headcase with all that evil that he's done. Oh and to be petty, I crush him as far as success.

As far as I'm concerned they deserve each other. Anyone willing to cheat on their pregnant wife, or is willing to steal a pregnant womens husband when shes at her most vulnerable is the lowest of the low. Their dark hearts cannot be covered no matter how much make up and they cake on.

Thank you so so so much for reposting this!!! The way it is worded puts some things in perspective a bit. My WH fits everything said here. and he did leave the OW exactly where he found her...at the back of the pack. At first I was hurt because she is 6 inches taller than me, not overweight like I am, with stunning eyes. But this post... this nails EXACTLY what was really happening. I feel like I have a bit more of my esteem back now. Thank you.

His OW actually said to me that my WH is a great person and he deserves a great person like her. She said "you had your chance with him". Keep in mind she is 65 yrs. old, never been married, can't keep a job and lives in a seedy low rent district. WH dumped her the day she had her friend call me to tell me about the 2 yr. affair. She was a gold digger and worked really hard at it. Even though we are now divorced WH never had anything else to do with her after D Day. They certainly deserved each other.

and she also was in a different part of her life that my ex didn't have the patience for us to get to. i was actually looking forward to our son going away to sleep away camp because we were going to get a break- we never got to that or any of the time to be fitter, spend more kidless time togther- because he wanted it now and woulnd't wait for our life to catch up to where she was in life.

Yes, I feel like we were finally at the stage where we could get a breather as the kids got a bit older and we recovered from some major life events. I even got really in shape and looked the best of my adult life when he came home from deployment. I was so excited to get time with him. But he had already been cheating for 7 months at that point. I wanted this life stage - finally a bit more time and money for dates or weekends away. =[

They all did affair down. Our spouses clearly wanted the kind of person who would be with a married person. That is disgusting.

I looked up my WH's AP on Facebook too. She is about the same age as me. She has enormous fake boobs and a very nice body but her face is just average. From what my WH tells me part of the attraction was how forward she was sending him photos of herself in lingerie and bikinis. I know my husband made the choices to be in the affair, but as a mother I don't understand how another mother can willingly do that to a family. She has two girls the same ages as our boys. How do you make these decisions knowing that it can break up a family.

My WH's OW went so far as to supply him with Viagara. She was on a mission.

bump

thank you. I needed this. It feels like the only thing that has made sense to me.

I could feel how broken this woman seemed in the conversations. They didnt even ever seem happy despite telling each other they loved one another.

For SpeedBump.

Dday 9/17. Reconciling

3 kids 25,21,18

Affair down?? Hard to tell - my wife had an 8 month affair with a “butch” lesbian. The OW (weird) is short, not attractive in any way, lives off her XHusband in a separate trailer. I am normal and successful, my wife is beautiful and kind???

Not sure how this all fits??

Did she affair down? How can I compete? What if that turns my wife on?

Quest / Looking for comments:

Wife says fed emotions.

Wife says she has no interest in sex w women - she was trying to make OW happy bc she fed my wife. They had sex 8 times.

There is you-tube post from Affair Recovery - An Interview w a Betrayed Male Spouse p1. At the end they comment about how females almost always affair down w real losers bc they get the feeling of superiority and affirmation. Very interesting to almost anyone on this post.

Thanks to all of you - life will ALWAYS get better if we stay strong and positive.

Weird, the details of the AP is not important. Just the fact that she would get involved with a married woman is enough to make her less than you.

Coco - details of the AP would be vitally important to me. And I guess only me.

Obviously, if my wife is drawn to certain characteristics or proclivities that I am unable to be, then we have a potentially 35 year marriage to lose.

She says she is not - for her the AP provided emotional needs.

I will not live my life with someone “yearning” for something I am not.

As I tell her I deserve everything that was promised the day we walked down then isle. With a happy full heart.

If she doesn’t have that heart then real issues - but I should obviously have that choice.

Well, yes, the fact that your CW cheated with an OW is important if it means your CW is a lesbian. However, nothing else about the AP matters as far as she relates to you. You are the better person because you didn't cheat. That's why they always affair down.

My fch's AP is almost half our age. I cannot be younger. Does that make her better or more desirable than me? No, she will always be less than me because she is a cheater.