SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

can't stop to say hi, nothing to say? not regretting your choices yet? I'm still here, alive and thriving. Sad but moving forward. oh, you're welcome for the email about the thing you most enjoy. yah, share it with her now.

Ha, i dont need this place anymore.

I realized that every time I say something to you I'm doing you a favor. I'm all out of favors, and another f-word.

Seriously? How did I not see this thread? Literally just spent the last few months writing raging/grieving texts (until he blocked me) and emails. I really only did more damage to myself, because he could care less. I hope to not get the urge, but if I do, --- I'm coming back here. I guess one for the road won't hurt...

Seriously, you usher people into their church pews and go to Bible study every week with your little fill. in the blank workbook--- and you tell me that in the 'grand scheme of things, none of it matters because we are all going to die?!' Um, clearly you forgot that little part about the 10 commandments and the fact that you have broken almost all of them, and adultery at least 3 times that I know of--Get yourself a new lesson plan! The idea is to be repentant. So eager to get back to dating after I blew up your AP gig, that you go to church and come home and in your church suit, take a selfie in the bathroom to post on your 'secret' dating website? Um, I know you are 63, but you are late to the selfie game. There is nothing worse than an old fool.

You are nothing but an oxygen thief. You are losing your kids. It's happening before your eyes. Punishing me is more important to you than raising them. Fuck you.

We don't need you. Stay the fuck out of our lives.

The further I get away from the farce that was our marriage the more I realize what a disaster it was and you are.. all I want to do is scream in your face. I am starting to hate you.

I hate it when the boys talk of you.

And I hate that sometimes I wish you were a better person. Because you are so bad for me.

I can't believe that, after 5 years of not seeing your adult daughter, you chose her first visit to shove OW down her throat, slander me in every possible way, & drive her away in a mentally traumatizing way.

You could've had weeks with her, but instead you needed to push your agenda by telling absolutely blatant lies detailing "your side of things".

That bought you a miserable week instead of much more time, that could've been joyous & healing.

This past week she spent nearly the entire time on the phone with me, crying & seeking solace because she was being emotionally tortured by your anger.
Anger over consequences you're dealing with, based on a situation you created, but absolutely refuse to take any responsibility for.

Nice work,'Dad'!

Thankfully it's been a stretch that you haven't influenced my emotions but today I am pissed.

"Were your ears burning because I spoke about you a lot today! I was telling everyone how lucky I am to be married to such a great wife, how good your cooking is and funny you are."

What. The. Actual. Fuck. man ??? WHY, why oh why did you say that to me?? What was the purpose when you were cheating?

I had forgotten you used to come home from work and randomly tell me this, it wasn't often but it was often enough and for whatever reason my subconscious choose this morning to remind me you did this and now I want to break NC so I can interrogate you about those days. Were they lies and in fact they were hook up days and you didn't think of me at all? was this person your OW and you were oh-so casually talking about me after cheating?? did you do this when your guilty conscious got too much or when people were noticing you "working late" with the junior sales chick yet again so you had to toot your "I'm married" horn??

I don't understand why you would say this after a day at work where it was most likely a day you cheated. I'm truly confused by you. What was the motive? there had to be a motive with you, but what was it??

I hate that I was with you for so long but have these black holes of not knowing you at all, was that me? do I not pay attention when I feel safe? or was it you hiding?

I want to slap your face while I ask these questions.

[This message edited by LostInHisFog at 6:59 AM, Monday, December 13th]

my fucking ass off at you, you piece of shit. How's that gutter thing going for you? Having fun? Oh, wait. One more thing. Told you so. Make sure to have yourself a ball now, you hear?

I'm only thinking of you again today because I've heard on the grape vine that you got drunk at a christmas party and tried to pick up some poor girl with some rewriting history bullshit.

I wish you would stop telling people we both know that I broke us up, actually scratch that, I wish people would stop giving you their time but you have taught me life is unfair.

I wish you just got it that you and you alone ended our marriage and you did it the minute you betrayed me. Surprise surprise I don't consider the first time you had sex with someone else that moment, no, it was a long long time before that, it was that singular moment when you made the choice that it was ok to peruse your attractions, it was waaaaaaaaaaay before there was anything sexual, before flirting or texting or physical, it was that choice that you wanted to live like that, like the single man.

I'm just making the breakup legal but you ended the marriage, I actually want to say killed, destroyed, shredded, shat upon but you always accused me of overexaggerating so I will stick to ended.

As for asking (I want to say pleading, begging, ugly snot crying) me to "focus on the good years" ??? umm... what now? Please get some level of understanding when I say I can not find any good years in our history now, if there were "good years" they have no value to me now, how can they? I actually don't know when you were faithful to me in our own marriage, only you know when you cheated, only you know when you lied, only you know when you crossed a boundary that would hurt me, only you know when you were loyal and loving, not me, I'm in the dark over here buddy. That's what happens when you lie and lie and lie some more, it scraps the lot of it, it breaks trust, it stains. The lies, the hiding, the secrets, the trickle truths it all adds up until your faithful wife just feels like she wasted her life, valuable time wasted, none of it was beneficial, none of it was good. I didn't grow with you, I wilted. So why should I focus on the good affair free years when I don't even know when they were? I'm hoping my marriage day was OW free but you had one hell of a bucks night didn't ya?! Anyway, this is just making me mad now because I shouldn't have to try and figure that shit out, even if I did correctly pick when the faithful good years were why would they make me feel positive towards you or us???? they would just make me so much sadder and angrier because the answer should have been 100%, 100% of our years together should have been faithful good years.

18 weeks to go and we have been legally separated for a year and I can finally move forward with divorcing you, that, that makes me feel good and I'll be focusing on that to make me feel good.

I hope I don't think of you so much tomorrow, at all would be better but I'll aim for 'not so much'.

My random thoughts, things I wanted to say today:

I was up late and I wanted some ice cream, I decided to eat it in the parking lot and I saw your car parked there. All of the stores were closed so where they hell were you? I waited, I know you were with him — he is typically the "errands" you have to run. I shouldn't have, but I parked at the far end of the parking lot with my lights off and I waited. You spent four hours alone with him in his office, I wonder what his boss would think knowing that you are using their place of work to carry on your affair.

The affair that you won't admit to, but it is all too obvious. He is not "just a friend" you don't just talk, you aren't just hanging out. I'm not stupid, I don't believe you, you don't all of a sudden have to work late every night, you are not at a work Christmas party tonight, what kind of workplace has their Christmas party on a Tuesday? You must really think so little of me to carry on like this.

You think I'm sad and depressed because you are moving out at the end of this week, but in reality, I'm sad and miserable because your ass is still here.

You broke me, I don't feel like I will ever trust again or that I can or would even want to find love again and I hate you for that.

His wife left him for a reason, someday you'll find that reason for yourself and I will not be available when you do. Bye!!!

This is the first Christmas where I haven’t been with you in 30 years. My gut twists when I think about that.

We are both alone. At least I think so. You may be back in touch with her, I know you were still lying when we signed the papers. You deserve her.

You are more than a home wrecker, you are a life wrecker, yup you did that to your kids.

It really is just sad.

Merry Christmas.

Today is Christmas and it is amazing! There is nothing different except you are not here and everyone fucking loves that. Honestly at first I thought it was a display of solidarity when people started to speak their mind about you, it was a little uncomfortable but only for a moment because turns out that show pony you put in to make everyone love you was wasted on a few, so many thought you were a bit of a wanker mate, the examples were long and hilarious, for their love for me they kept those opinions to themselves but now it’s out there and for the first time this year I’ve had tears of laughter.

Today I know I’m going to be fine, better than fine.

I should never ever have suffered in silence for so long, as soon as I knew you were cheating I should have told my family and friends because this support is real gold, the healing and self worth boosting is leagues ahead now. Why was I protecting your affairs by being quite? Looking into that it wasn’t shame, not really fear... unsure but it’s out there and I’m thankful it is.

I have no regrets I never offered you R, none, I would have hated my life, I would have thought everything you did was linked to an OW, nope, it still hurts and has messed me up but this was the best choice, leaving infidelity was the best decision I have ever made in my adult life.

Fuck you very much, merry Christmas to me.

Merry Christmas

Because the best feeling is indifference.

Tomorrow is your birthday, and what do I find out today? The day of your next wedding. It sounds like you found Ms. Wonderful because your kids don't want to go to the wedding. You know what? They're adults & aren't going to go if they don't want to go.

It's tough because your AP was here 4 years ago, but our M was already over.

How could I have been so naive & fallen for all of your BS? The meme that said, "When Satan isn't able to get through to you he sends a covert narc," really hit home. You're a tool of evil. You're a tool.

I love this thread and need to seriously chant these over and over!

You are a disgusting pathetic scumbag for what you’ve done to me, to our relationship, to our future together. You had ZERO respect for me and for yourself while you basically prostituted yourself and used people’s bodies and allowed them to use you.

Your hundreds of disgusting unprotected sexual acts with strangers PUT MY FUCKING LIFE AT RISK, of which you clearly cared so little. DON’T EVER TELL ME YOU LOVED ME...EVER. You don’t know what love is! YOU HAVE NO CAPACITY FOR LOVE...only for LIES, DECEIT, CHEATING, BETRAYAL, CRUELTY.

How did I not see it?!?! HOW DID I NOT SEE WHAT A LOW LIFE LYING CHEATER YOU WERE FOR YEARS?!?

You talked bad about me on those disgusting online forums and to your fuck buddies...YOU HAVE NO SOUL.

I TRULY HATE WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME...OR MAYBE YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A FUCKING LYING BETRAYER.

You lied to me so much...I QUESTION MY FUCKING REALITY AND MY PAST BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

You lovebombed me continually for 15 years, WHILE YOU LIVED YOUR DISGUSTING DOUBLE LIFE...HOW THE FUCK DOES ANYONE DO THAT?!?!

YOU MADE ME BELIEVE YOU WOULD BE FAITHFUL, THAT YOU LOVED ME AND WOULD LOVE ME FOREVER...BUT YOU LIED TO MY FACE OVER AND OVER AGAIN...WHILE YOU FUCKED HUNDREDS OF WOMEN, MEN, COUPLES, GROUPS...YOU DISGUST ME AND MAKE MY SKIN CRAWL.

I DESPISE YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO DEVASTATE MY LIFE.

I WILL HEAL IN TIME...BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A LOWLIFE PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A FUCKING HUMAN.

Are you butt dialing your daughter or calling and not leaving a message?

Do you know what this does to her after so many years of silence? Either disappear for good or leave a message, even just "wanted you to know I’m thinking of you". It’s a start.

Your kids deserve a father, step up and figure out what a relationship looks like with them after years of silence.

Looking forward to trial in June 2022. I wished I’d never ever met you, except for the fact that we have two beautiful daughters together. You’re a loser and you’ll always be a loser. You were fucked up when I met you but I overlooked it.

I want to hate you, blame you, be angry with you...
So why is it all I can do is cry.
The worst thing in the world is finding out you aren't the person I thought you were.
It's crushing me.

Sorry about your cockatiel, even worse knowing that you fed him the avocado that killed him.
You've been killing a lot of things lately, though, so I guess that's just one more thing to add to the list.