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I can't stand you. I can't stand that I still let you affect me. Our son is having mental health crisis issues and all you can talk about is his attitude towards you. You Mother F'er deserve whatever wrath comes your way. You have ruined my life and now ruining our son's. I wish I never met you. I want my kids but nothing to do with you. What a complete waste of human you are causing damage to everyone around you. Fuck you

You’re so selfish. Our son was bawling today. I hugged him and he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong but I know we are both hurting alone in the wreckage of our home. You’re on this camping getaway and feel it is special while you and your dirtbag soulmate ignore that between you there are seven children and three ex-spouses you’ve ignored for this new exciting life. There’s a real world out there but you don’t live in it.

Why cant you just follow the orders on the separation and modification agreement. This exchange of documents could easily have been done without lawyers, but 6 years after the divorce and 1 year after the modification agreement, you're still a dick.

You are such a chicken sh!t. Ran into another person who knew you were retired, and asked how you were doing. You moved out of state so you didn't have to face people and tell them you had an A and we're D. No, you left that to me.

You are a lying liar who lies.

I hope you're happy. I understand you need a runway to get up to speed on the businesses, but why do I have to pay for it???? This was all of your own doing!

I want to text you to talk about how much I love this weather. I want to know how your day was. You aren’t texting me, so I want to start a conversation, so you know I still care, so you don’t forget about me.

I told you that you could use the open garage spot because you were worried that your vehicle would get storm damage. I said I would leave you alone. You said no. Why did you say no? Is she coming over? Do you really dislike being around me that much? I’m not going to ask you. I don’t want to know.

What are you doing tonight? Do you plan to see her? Are you talking on the phone with her? Are you drinking your problems away? I’m not going to ask you. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to send a text and wait and ruminate over how long it takes you to respond. I don’t want to imagine what you’re doing while you’re not responding.

It should be our 21st anniversary and I’ve blocked you on my phone today. You’re a self centered person and don’t care that our son is struggling with severe depression. I can’t wait for your selfish choices to catch up with you.

This is a really great idea, MOB.

But as I read it, I realize that I have actually said all the things I want to say.

I don’t have a filter.

I can’t decide if that is good or bad. 😏

Wow I download a new messaging app and you stalk me there too. Do you have no shame? What part of I don't want to be married to you anymore did you not understand? Oh still making it about you. Got it! Well you got blocked on this app too!

Hi S, I wanted to say that I hope that all is going well with you and that you are happy. I didn’t want things to end of a bad note between us, and it felt a bit like that which has been on my mind recently. I just want you to know that I hold no bad feelings and that I have many happy memories. I just thought of you on this sunny day..Take care.

This isn’t why I really want to say. I wish I could be stronger. But will stay in NC.

Just needed to let it out somewhere, away from him.

What I really want to say to you is who are you?
Who is this person who lied and cheated?
For 4 years I loved and supported you. I always knew that you had issues with commitment but I patiently waited to move in together and try for a baby. 3 years I waited before we tried. I know now that you were seeing her while trying to get me pregnant. Then you left me overnight. I found this out by text. That’s how little respect you have for me. Got her pregnant instead 4 months after leaving me. Moved her into the house we had bought together. You denied this but I can’t trust a single word you say anymore.

I was there when you were depressed, cared for you. Loved and supported you. We never argued. I thought we were so happy.

So now you have your new life with the OW. Apparently she knew all about me, that she was taking another women’s partner. How you must have plotted and schemed behind my back while I was creating the perfect Christmas party to celebrate the beginning of our new life together. You two deserve each other.

Then you crawled back 2 months ago to make contact, calling and texting, telling me you missed me and then you dropped the baby bomb to twist the knife even more. What did I ever do to deserve this?

I just wish you knew how much this has affected me. I haven’t eaten properly for 6 months now. On sleeping meds and anti-ds. A shadow of my former self. I don’t recognise myself when I look in the mirror. You did that. I don’t know who or what you are anymore.

bump

STBXH,

I walked outside to call my mom before I lost my shit on you during this IHS. You stay locked up in your room on the social media site that caught your serial cheting ass again--our sweet daughter saw and was devastated asking ME why you stay addicted to your videos of 30 somethings.

How the fuck do I explain your addiction to ego kibbles and the patrolling of these previous AP's pages looking to see if they have replaced YOU!

I wanted So badly to take a large brick and hurdle across the room and demand to know what the fuck your actual problem is. Instead I paced the yard beyong fucking angry.

Our son sits in the room next to yours looking SO dam sad, you can't and won't talk to him, throw a dam ball or even watch TV with him--you just sit night after fucking night locked away on your social media site ignoring my precious kids ALL while proclaiming you WANT custody of THEM!?!?!?

Instead of being angry I should be THANKFUL--you are showing them day in and out what matters most--the next AP you can con into bed.

I HATE you for spending time, money and all your energies on only what is serving your pathetic narc self.

You've dumped our kids already and you're STILL in the house! You throw them an occasional love you but your so far removed from actually knowing them WHO they are and how badly they are hurting to even give a shit.

I'm doing EVERYTHING for them, running them to every outing, practice, making their meals, getting them up for school while YOU sit in your fucking room self-absorbed.

Your divorce papers state you're a PROPER parent?!?!?!? A proper parent who serial cheats on their mother, didn't give a rats ass you were ruining their family and lives--I get you had no real parents, grew up in a horribly abused home SO why the fuck could you not give them better then what you had and experienced.

I cry everyday, my beautiful son is so devastated, I go into his room early in the morning to look at his precious baby face wondering why they weren't ENOUGH. The utter sadness written all over his face, the pain is unbearable.

While I'm writing this tears are streaming down my face NOT for me but for my son and our daughter, I blame MYSLELF! I saw who you were early on, I excused the little red flags but it was too late to end it. We had these two beautiful children--everything you begged me for, a biological connection you were missing, these two incredibly amazing children YOU didn't deserve.

I HATE you--I HATE you for hurting me, but I'll recover, they WILL NOT, you will always be the negative self-centered narc that uses & hurts them.

I am going to make this divorce the worst experience of your existence. I'm going to take every precious dollar I deserve for our kids and leave you in ruins. You claim you work yourself in pain, through injury to do all this great financial providing for us "ungrateful" people, well NOW is going to be the time to pay the piper.

My mom says go easy on you financially HELL NO!!!! I'm going to fully use the post-nuptial and use it to hurt you in the same way your cheating has hurt all of us. The ONLY thing that matters is MONEY? That's why you've stayed so long.

I'm going to drag your cheating ass into a hearing on the post-nuptial and BLAST your nasty serial cheating ass--I'm going to annihilate your fake "good" character--oh and the new judge over our case HATES cheaters. I'm going to sit there with my impeccable reputation, not ONE fucking iota of ever have done anything in the way of being unfaithful with all MY friends and family sitting there behind ME!

You have not ONE person, family member or even friend in THIS WORLD to support you--you will be sitting there on the stand like the world's biggest loser who serial cheated the whole marriage and I'm going to sit there in all of my morally correct glory waiting for the wrath to desend upon this earth and take it's demon back to hell where you belong.

I have taken years of the random sneaky shit being done to me, peeing in my mouthwash, pissing and cutting up my clothes, tracking my car and when I ASK you, you just act innocent--well guess what, I KNOW IT WAS YOU! Your sick and evil, sadistic, pathetic, your a buliemic that throws up to stay thin enough for a new OW--your aging, balding, wrinkled, poor business man, uneducated, self-absorbed and washed the fuck up. I beg you to find a cute 30 something OW and let her take your remaining money and dump you. You have ZERO worth to give a person, you've cheated on EVERY woman you've ever been with and I hope justice will be served at your expense one day preferably soon! Better get a pre-nup this time, but oh wait, you'll have to since you'll be left decades behind financially for retirement.

I will shine and continue to live morally correct. I will live everyday being the GOOD example to our kids, I WILL BE the reason they succeed and prosper I WILL dedicate the next years to THEM while you waste your time on energy on worthless women.

You walk around the house like you have no care in the world--happy, upbeat like you are so innocent in all of this fuckery. It is all a facade just like you! The charm that landed you the OW, it doesn't last. I've read all the texts--you are pathetic, you tell them how they don't have time for you, you don't think they LOVE you, your so fucking transparent, your non-existent self-esteem showing through.

All I can hope and pray for is that I drag this divorce so far down the road that it STOPS you from having anymore kids to hurt and ruin. Likely my intentions for spending the last 15 years married to YOU. The older I can get your dumb ass, hopefully I can stop you from spreading your evil onto another innocent child. But knowing your recklessness with birth control you likely will have another child, cheat on their mother and the cycle will continue.

You tell all the OW your sterile from chemo from your supposed brain cancer just to fuck them without protection is literally the MOST disgraceful thing I have ever heard in my life. Your disgusting

I can only pray you get what you deserve from the higher powers and I can exact enough revenge here on the earth to leave you in shambles financially since that is really the only thing that matters to you.

You tell the OW, you're divorced, rich, you gave me money and a beach condo?!?! It's my dam condo, bought and paid for by ME, my hard work and business. You tell the OW you're so rich, what a joke, after this you'll have nothing left to wow them with, the beautiful house we live in, YOU'LL be paying the mortgage for 7 more years while I LIVE in it and you'll be in some sad rental.

The JOKE will be on your NEXT wife, you'll slap her with a pre-nup, convince her to quit her job to keep her financially controlled just like you did me early on, have her birth a couple of kids for you and then not give her a dam dollar for anything, JUST like you did me. This poor next wife is screwed, you'll make her so dependent on her weekly allowance for gas & groceries just like you did me (before I started my business) and she'll be forced to put up with your cheating and name calling. She'll "think" she's marrying a man who's going to take care of her, I mean right?!!?!? That's how you got the OW into bed, by telling them you're going to take care of them and their other kids financially. You're just looking for a maid and cook like you did me for years!

Let me tell you ONE thing though, I've been preparing for this divorce since I caught you on Craigslist almost 15 years ago looking for women while I held OUR precious newborn daughter in my arms in the other room. I fucking hate that having that beautiful baby in your life as a new father WASN'T enough to stop your addiction to women and cheating.

I have been the BEST mother in the world to our kids, for an asshat who had an abusive mother that ditched him, you would think that would be appreciated! Oh HELL no, it wasn't enough to stop you. It's always been your needs, wants and desires before anyone else.

So continue to drive your fancy sports car speeding down the road like your somebody special, looking for admiration and attention. You're just a low rent, serial cheater, soon to be twice divorced with middle age barreling down on you. You can't escape what you've done, you can't run and hide, compartmentalize it forever, justice will always be served one way or another. It might not be mine to serve but it will be served one day.

[This message edited by Crazytrain101 at 4:33 PM, Friday, September 30th]

2 posts in a row--I see I'm going to be wearing out this NC topic during this IHS.I'm trying so hard to not speak to you-you're trying to bait me constantly. I am not going to take the bait. STOP trying to talk to me. I will never speak to you as long as I LIVE.

You will never deserve to hear my voice after the things you've done to me--I am going to be a ghost to you.

All your talk of a "toxic" relationship?!?!? You're the one who has cheated on me for our whole 15 year marriage! TOXIC--is TOXIC being in a constant relationship with 3 people---what a fucking JOKE! It was TOXIC because you have buliemia and NPD! I never had a fighting chance for happiness--never. I was fooled from day ONE.

Just go away and leave me alone.

[This message edited by Crazytrain101 at 8:36 PM, Sunday, October 2nd]

Looks like I'm going to again be wearing out this forum, you're a true dip-shit as you cruise down or road with your music blaring like your 21 again. Not quite my friend. You're washed up serial cheater soon to blow up an entire family.

Facades--you think you're cool as shit--behind the mask is an empty facade. A complete and utter loser. The reality is that you will never stop hurting people and using them for your own selfish means, people are expendable to you, the AP's every family you break up. Nobody means shit to you--they are just people to be used and discarded.

You've isolated your kids, ignored them now that they see what you are. They are no longer useful to you, you can't mirror anything back that you actually want to see. They are worthless in your eyes. They serve zero purpose now that they aren't willing to play along with what you think they want you to see. You are done with them in essence. Nothing left for them to see--they see you for what you are.

You play the stupidist country songs hoping I hear something that you think will hurt me. The jokes on you. I've been done with you and this life since 2015 when you first cheated, yes I played along but it was all for the long game. Get my kids as grown as possible , to be here to minimize the damage that you will ultimately burden everyone with. Maybe a little self-sacrificing but it's been for the best.

You have no capacity to love. Now go crash that sports car.

You are so stupid. I told you to update accounts that emailed me updates. Now I know you're getting behind on bills. I've paid off my part of the debts and am doing better. You better keep up your end of our agreement.

You've had champagne taste on a beer budget and blamed me. Thanks for the smear campaign.

Jerk!

I just want you to pay for once. You go through life doing whatever the fuck you want with no regard for anyone but yourself. And you never seem to have to face any consequences. I myself have always given you the benefit of the doubt. the court thing went away and is only a slap on the wrist. you miss a child support payment, and think that it's just going to be taken care of for you? magically? because I always took care of everything for you. you've never had to figure out anything by yourself. and now you mom will step in and do all of that for you. I want you to fall flat on your face for once. I want you to hurt for a change.

So you apologised. Told me that ‘you panicked and didn’t know what to do’. That’s your explanation for cheating? REALLY???
You said that ‘you have learnt from what you have done and will never hurt ‘people’ like that again. Is that what I was to you after 4 years? ‘People’?? You panicked and accidentally had an EA? Or maybe more than an EA? Then left me??

You said you are ‘still truly sorry’.

I responded to your pathetic apology. I asked if you were happy. You didn’t even read my message. Left it unread. That’s not ‘truly sorry’ in my book. Its not someone who has ‘learnt from what they have done’. It’s get more mind games from you. Get more pain. Get more BS.

I just wish I could stop loving you.

I miss you

Today would have been our 36th anniversary. Although I had a goal to reach at least 50, I'm so glad you're no longer an albatross around my neck. My life is so much more peaceful.

You're so sad that the kids won't talk to you or you can't see them as much? Well, they're adults and you're an ass. You should have thought of that before you blew up everybody's world. You're still a selfish, lying douchebag.