Topic is Sleeping.
Hope24 ( member #9344) posted at 8:02 PM on Thursday, July 29th, 2010
She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.
Hope24 ( member #9344) posted at 3:30 PM on Monday, August 2nd, 2010
Bumping for CrushedHim. 
She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.
wincings_sparkle ( member #27129) posted at 5:29 AM on Saturday, September 4th, 2010
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
HUFI-PUFI ( member #25460) posted at 1:55 PM on Thursday, September 30th, 2010
Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
HUFI-PUFI ( member #25460) posted at 1:24 PM on Thursday, October 28th, 2010
This gets bumped because I wanted to add another book.
The Ten Things to Do When Your Life DFalls Apart by Daphne Rose Kingma.
Inpsirational and instructional. Which are they way that good books should be. A good mixture of homilies for self healing for both the WS and the BS.
Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
Fallen (original poster member #4313) posted at 3:52 AM on Monday, November 1st, 2010
Bumping for a new member.
You can't heal what you won't feel.
"There would be no grand absolution, only forgiveness meted out in these precious sips. It would well up from his heart in spoonfuls, and he would feed it to me. And it would be enough."
Lost68 ( member #27515) posted at 8:50 PM on Friday, November 12th, 2010
Fallen (original poster member #4313) posted at 3:32 AM on Saturday, December 4th, 2010
You can't heal what you won't feel.
"There would be no grand absolution, only forgiveness meted out in these precious sips. It would well up from his heart in spoonfuls, and he would feed it to me. And it would be enough."
WhatHaveIDone?? ( member #30054) posted at 11:39 PM on Sunday, December 5th, 2010
What a wonderful thread! This should be a permanent bump on the Wayward side! Any chance of getting this added to the Healing Library so it is always readily available?
Thank you to everyone for the input. I have read some and will add others to my list.
hurtful ( new member #30173) posted at 1:36 AM on Monday, December 6th, 2010
1DLW
Where did you get audio version, I have major attention issues and have a hard time reading, but have had great luck with audio books. I would love to get this.
Thanks.
WhatHaveIDone?? ( member #30054) posted at 3:10 AM on Tuesday, December 14th, 2010
HUFI-PUFI ( member #25460) posted at 2:52 PM on Friday, December 17th, 2010
I know that I am not the only WS who has issues with the fights in our marriage. It’s not just arguments over the A but at times, it seems like all disagreements turn into arguments which ten escalate into fights and it seems that they just don’t end until she storms off and I sit there in stony silence wondering what the fuck?
ihurtforher - One thing that I struggle with is that when we have an argument, often times we both get angry and end up saying things that we later regret. I would like to quell these situations before they escalate, but it is difficult when we start to get into an emotion overload.
Well, I found a book recently that promises a way to defuse the situation and turn the fight back into a discussion by encouraging you to deal with the “true underlying” cause of the hurt and anger and fear that these fights reveal about you.
Talk to Me Like I’m Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash by Nancy Dreyfus.
I’m only one chapter into the book but not unlike other books like 5 love languages, this one too seems to be one of those “aha” books that make sense from the moment that you pick it up. Yesterday as we argued over the Christmas decorations, the advice from chapter one is what allowed me to defuse the situation with ease and get us back on track. Can’t wait to read the whole damn book.
HUFI
[This message edited by HUFI-PUFI at 12:57 PM, December 17th (Friday)]
Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
WhatHaveIDone?? ( member #30054) posted at 8:06 PM on Thursday, December 30th, 2010
Lost68 ( member #27515) posted at 6:31 PM on Sunday, January 2nd, 2011
WhatHaveIDone?? ( member #30054) posted at 2:26 AM on Thursday, January 6th, 2011
Fallen (original poster member #4313) posted at 1:55 AM on Monday, February 7th, 2011
You can't heal what you won't feel.
"There would be no grand absolution, only forgiveness meted out in these precious sips. It would well up from his heart in spoonfuls, and he would feed it to me. And it would be enough."
noheroes ( new member #31064) posted at 6:28 AM on Monday, February 7th, 2011
Highly, highly recommend When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron.
http://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1570629692/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1297060045&sr=8-1
HUFI-PUFI ( member #25460) posted at 3:44 PM on Thursday, March 10th, 2011
It was time to bump this back to the front where it might be read again and the wisdom in it shared once more. BUMP!
Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
Fallen (original poster member #4313) posted at 3:07 AM on Thursday, March 17th, 2011
You can't heal what you won't feel.
"There would be no grand absolution, only forgiveness meted out in these precious sips. It would well up from his heart in spoonfuls, and he would feed it to me. And it would be enough."
Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 12:33 PM on Saturday, March 19th, 2011
I'd like to add a recommendation for new, remorseful WS.
I just finished reading How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair by Linda MacDonald.
It's great for those who really don't like to read. Only about 100 pages. A WS doesn't get the impression that the book is trying to psychoanalyze them somehow (which is admittedly why I haven't read some of the other recommendations). It gets straight to the point: THIS is what you need to do to have the best chance of repairing your M. THIS is what your BS needs. THIS is the best way to handle a certain situation.
I found it very helpful because it also lists some "predetermining factors". It listed a few things that it never occurred to me as being such. So it can also be the source of "aha" moments as well.
(Thank you to GeauxTiger for the recommendation. My H saw it on his thread and decided to check it out. )
BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51
All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.
Topic is Sleeping.
