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I found out today that my sister is pregnant with her second - I'm gonna be an auntie again!! My niece (who is the bestest cutest most awesomest kid evah!!) will be 8 in Nov and the baby is due in October. When she had my niece she was really young and the dad was a total shitshow (abusive and horrible and the family couldn't stand him) and I was dealing with infertility when xwh and I were trying for a baby, so it was really really hard. My sis told me today and felt bad, which made me feel bad that she felt bad... it was a whole catholic thing This time around though - I love my future brother in law who is just a sweetheart, and though I did still feel a little pang I am 98.5% thrilled about it and so so happy for them!

The only kinda bittersweet part is that I am planning to move in July/August. I'm going to be moving to a different state for the first time in my 40+ years, moving to cajun country!! In prep for that, I had my realtor come by a couple weeks ago to do a walkthrough with me and give me some direction on fixes and such. Her company offers a service where you can do an interest-free loan against your equity to do fixes (which, side note: I have WAY more equity than I thought - after commission and everything, I should walk away from closing with a check for almost $200K whaaaaaat???). You have to do an application for it, which takes your credit into consideration, and WOW. When fucknugget left, my credit was in the mid 500's. As of today, my credit score was 774 All the work I've done in the last two years to pay down debt and get myself on more solid financial footing has paid off hugely - and how much easier it is to be financially good when you don't have a man-sized toddler sucking the life out of you cannot be understated. Finding out just how much better my finances/credit are been so unbelievably validating for me.

Just... life man. No matter how low a spot you're in, it always moves forward and it almost always gets better. You can be in the darkest of places and emerge into a better brighter spot than you ever believed possible. Today I am just so damn grateful for all the dark paths that led me to this place in my journey because it's a pretty damn beautiful place to be. And knowing that I'm gonna get a check that big in a few months that's all mine (seriously - fuckin suck it xdouche!) for me to design the next chapters in my life? *chef's kiss* That is priceless.

Congrats on the news that there will be another little one to love in your family soon! And what a wonderful update on your life happenings...so many of us can relate to the financial freedom that infidelity 'gifted' us and it makes me smile to learn of the progress you've accomplished in such a short time. I'm excited to hear of your upcoming move and please keep updating us as you prepare for this incredible next step in your journey.

The ways that WS’ toxic traits and their As affect us are so insidious and run so deep. Emotional health, physical health, financial health, isolation, self-esteem destruction…. And yet when we get away, after a bit of healing, we all rise and start to see our own potential.

You are such a great example of that.

Congrats on the new niece (I don’t have kids but have 2 nieces and they are also the most amazing! One is 25, one is 13 and they totally rock!!).
Keep on rising, Ellie. You are inspiring.

That is just so freakin' cool, Ellie! That is awesome!! I'm excited for you! It is amazing how much better it is on the other side, isn't it? How well we can do on our own?

If you don’t mind my asking, what part of "Cajun Country" are you moving to? North LA is so different from South LA.

Abs it's definitely southern Louisiana. I have fam all over the area so kinda up in the air on specifics just yet.