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I saw stbxh. I haven’t laid eyes on him since July 9th and I saw him. When he moved out, it was to his girlfriend’s apartment 2 hours away. I live in a fairly small town, so I wasn’t worried about running into either of them at the local stores.

I knew he was in town, because he visited my daughter and grandchild. I was in the parking lot of a restaurant waiting for my lunch to be brought out, and I looked up and he was walking right in front of my car. I just looked at him with my mouth open. He was RIGHT THERE! He just gave me a little half smile and a lifted-hand wave and kept walking. He didn’t stop. I just sat there for a few seconds, then hopped out of the car. I was going to try to catch him leaving. I don’t even know what I was going to say. I just felt relief and happiness and I just wanted to touch his hand or his face. But he took the back exit out of the parking lot so he wouldn’t come by me. And he was gone again.

33 years together and I didn’t warrant a hi, I hope you’re okay. He walked past me like I was trash on the road. He was wearing a shirt that I bought him, and all I wanted to do was hold his hand with mine, and listen to him talk.

[This message edited by Losttransport at 4:46 AM, Saturday, August 6th]

My heart breaks for you, Lost. I can't imagine how hard this must be.
I don't have any advice, but wanted you to know I'm thinking about you.

(((Hugs))) I can feel the pain In your post. And he’s a weasel for just driving off through the back gate. This is exactly why we say NC equals no new hurts. And I’m so sorry that you had to see him through no fault of your own. Take good care of yourself and treat yourself gently after this. You are better than that. you deserve better . you deserve so much better.

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 6:00 PM, Saturday, August 6th]

He’s a coward.

And will Look to take the lazy easy way out whenever possible.

I’m sorry you had this "interaction". But at least you know where you stand.

What a total jerk. That's on him. You deserved better after 33 years, and it's a statement of who he is that he could disregard you so after all that time, like some acquaintance whose name he couldn't remember. It's absolute cowardice that he couldn't face you in the moment, and as much as it's painful to think it, how could you not be better off with that toxic, shallow person out of your life?

Living well is the best revenge. Spend time with your family. Reinvent yourself, your home, and your life to be something YOU purposefully design. Love yourself enough to let that poison go.

((big hugs))

[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:39 AM, Sunday, August 7th]

I was experiencing such emotional pain as I was reading your post. I just want to go beat up you STBXH. I am so sorry for your pain <HUG>.

Oh wow...your pain overwhelmed me!

I am so very sorry this happened to you, but everyone is right....the POS is a coward! I would hope that realization will dominant your thoughts and help you recover from your pain.

Please hang in there, luv!

(((Lost))) sending you a hug.

My heart breaks for you. Reading your post brought me to tears. You deserve so very much more than this.

He sounds like a coward to me. He knows what he has done and scuttled away like a beetle. I think my ex WS would do the same, because he is also a coward. It’s so hurtful.

I agree that the best revenge is living a good life. You are worth so much more than this. I tried yoga as it’s supposed to increase your endorphins, and it has helped me. And I tell myself ‘this too shall pass’ and ‘I won’t always feel this way’. Each time I do something nice for myself I feel a little stronger.

I also tell myself ‘ I am better than this’. And I remind myself of every bad thing he did, I have a list and read it when I feel like I miss him.

Sending you strength.

Maybe in a way it’s a blessing you didn’t interact. He may have said or done something that would have caused you great pain.

Maybe keeping that distance is protection for you.

Losttransport, I want to hug you and cry with you. I know I will feel the same some day. I don’t think my husband and I will stay married. He hasn’t put any effort into true reconciliation, and I feel the bonds between us breaking. Like strings being cut. I know my husband will move on quickly. Hell, he moved on twice in our marriage with other women. And I know I will always love him. I’m not sure what kind of love it is? In love? Friendship? A fantasy about what I hoped could have been? I know I will feel that someday. Just wishing to be close again. To have mattered and been loved. I’m so sorry you are going through this and I am sending you a hug.

Thank you all. I am going Friday to meet with my attorney to file. Heck, I don’t know why I waited so long. Holding on to a broken dream, I guess.

Today is my birthday. It’s the first time in 33 years he hasn’t wished me a happy birthday.

I keep finding new "firsts". Some are great, like putting in floors in two of my bedrooms. Without him. My daughters and I did it all! (under the direction of my dad of course!) and we did it!

Some break my heart again, like the first time going to "our" restaurant without him. Or the first birthday without him.

But I’m not broken. I’m just bent for a little while. And just for laughs, when I told that to my kids, they laughed and said they knew that all along!

Sending you a huge hug Lost. And happy birthday to you. I know things are incredibly hard at the moment, but next birthday will be so much better.

I completely understand how those firsts feel. I totally understand, I am dreading my birthday in December and Christmas. Christmas was always our thing. It will be my first Christmas alone.

Someone told me if you get the first year out of the way it gets easier. Because all the ‘firsts’ are gone. I tell myself everyday ‘I am proud of my progress’. It’s hard, and I know how you feel. My ex left me for the AP.

Well done for laying the floor! Thank goodness for family. Staying strong and keep posting.

We are here for you.