SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I really hate to bring this up but feel you need to consider it. If you stand to inherit some money when your mother passes, how does your state handle inheritance in a divorce? I’d hate to see you postpone filing for divorce and have it cost you half your inheritance.

But I do understand the difficulty in calling it quits so please don’t take this as a push or a criticism. I just think it’s important that you have the information.

I’m so terribly sorry for everything you’re going through. But please don’t let it ruin your view of life because there are 80,000+ members of this forum who will tell you that sunnier days lie ahead. Life has cycles and you just happen to be in a crappy one right now but it will pass.

You don’t "ask" for a divorce or separation. You apply for one, and then the process dictates the next steps.
I want to second the inheritance issue. Simply officially filing can create a date the court then uses to determine what is marital property and what isn’t. At the VERY least get legal advice on this.

I went through the same thing. My WH was always on his phone and super protective of it. Tilting the screen, switching the screen if i happen to be near. I was able to get a look at my WH when it was charging and hadn't locked. I found 4 months worth of texts and pics that read like porn with a woman he worked with. When he came down from upstairs, I confronted him with phone in hand. I did not care that I snooped......I would not even listen to his rant about the fact that I went through his phone...that is deflection from the bigger problem......he was a liar and a cheater! I kicked him out. Hardest thing I have ever done and I am still crying over it. However, CHEATING IS A DECISION, A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO LIE, HURT AND DECEIVE, it is not some mistake. Cheaters repeat. Once they get caught they find better ways next time. With all the social media, there are more ways to cheat and keep in contact with someone then ways to stay ahead of it. Guys cover for guys. The Bro code....do not "rat" on your friends. I sadly know a man who allows his friends to bring their lovers to a place he owns for privacy. If someone wants to cheat, they will always find a away. Any man who cheats knows the hurt it would cause but chooses to do it anyway. He chooses to hurt the wife he is with. I do not believe anyone can recover from that depth of deception. I say all this....however, I am still trying to cope, still trying to find a reason to get out of bed, still crying every night. I have no idea if I will ever be able to sleep again. But I do know, I could never trust this man again. I do not know who he even is to do this to our family and home. He could swear it would never happen again, we could go to counselling. He could allow me to see his phone at any time....(my gf WH did all of these things and he still kept cheating). I just know that there are so many other ways to stay in contact with a lover that I would never know if anything was the truth again. A cheater who knowingly lies and hides things can lie about anything. He can just get better at it too (secret accounts/emails/private forums/snapchat/Instagram, hell you can even secretly message people through Pinterest!). Something in your gut told you something wasn't right, as did mine. I had no indication anything was wrong with our relationship except he was on his phone a lot. Something made me look.....and there it all was, sadly in living colour. I am struggling to believe that my life will get better. I am struggling to believe I will ever be happy again. I am not sure I will ever trust anyone when someone can choose to hurt me this way. But i do know, I could never believe a word this man says again...I would always deep down inside wonder if it were really the truth or not. That stress would kill me too. I am so very sorry this is happening.

@josiep Inheritance is not divisible here in Canada. It is exempt from divorce proceedings.