SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

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[This message edited by Mechanic at 4:26 PM, Tuesday, August 22nd]

I wish I had a time machine for you (and me!). I don't know much about Parkinson's Disease but I am impressed that you are continuing to stay as active as possible. Please don't give up trying to communicate your need for sexual intimacy with your wife. Sometimes partners are oblivious so keep communicating!

Why not talk to her about it? Like – we need to have the dogs sleep outside the bedroom and we need to find time to be intimate. This is how I felt yesterday and it gets me so hopeless and frustrated with everything – including this marriage.

But then – remember – you are only married because you want to be married.

Ps: I have a black lab – probably my best friend. He sleeps with me on fishing trips but at home the bed is a no-go zone. He sleeps in bed with my sons, but not Mr and Mrs Bigger. No thank you!

I completely understand the dog frustration. Nothing like having a panting audience to kill the mood. I second Bigger's suggestion to talk to your W about it, and to secure the dogs in another room, far, far away.

My best friend is turning 60 this year and has MS. She and her H of 28 years are incompatible, but she won't leave because she likes her lifestyle and she needs her H's insurance. And she knows that her H would take care of her if her disease progresses. But she's so unhappy with him that she bought a lake house where she can escape. It's so frustrating to feel stuck.

I read your many posts from different threads. I will admit I don't have enough information on your current situation with your wife. I don't know what work your wife has done to be a better partner. I don't know whether she is remorseful of her affair or not. I don't know if she even comforts you in your bad days. I don't know much because your posts dont tell much about your post dday wife.

Based on what you have written in your other posts I have come to the belief that since dday most of the decision you have made regarding yourself or your wife has not been made with the intention of healing yourself but with the intention of avoiding another painful dday. You rugswept her affair because you don't want another dday. You suspect she had more than one affair, but you didn't try to get truth out of her because you dont want another dday.

I feel like you are a conflict avoider. Instead of facing your demons, you have opted to close your eyes so you won't see them.

You are frustrated because you want to open your eyes and enjoy life but demons are still there.

My assessment is based on the limited information I gathered from your posts. I may be partially or completely wrong here.

I am very sorry to read that you have Parkinson's. It sucks. But I hope you are taking care of yourself.

[This message edited by Lurkingsoul12 at 9:35 PM, Monday, August 21st]

Mechanic,

Was there exposure or confrontation of the OM did you manage to get OM fired etc?

Did your WW ever write you a timeline or take a polygraph?

Your description of the dogs makes them sound like the OM in the sense that your WW likes the dogs more than you or makes them more of a priority.

See if you can get your money back from the IC and MC and possibly sue for damages. They sound like a driving instructors who drive your car into a tree and then walk away and expect to get paid.

Mod, pls delete

[This message edited by Mechanic at 4:27 PM, Tuesday, August 22nd]