SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi,

Emotions have been running high lately. I feel myself not having enough energy to get up most days because I am thinking about our 'used to be' relationship. Especially as Valentine's is coming up - can't help to think about the time we had, laughs, physical intimacy, first-time experiences, literally everything. I know I shouldn't miss them as they put my health at risk. I just have a hard time grasping this situation. How I wasn't given any time to move on and detach myself from them. I know the usual is to start new hobbies, meet w/ friends and family, but even while doing so my mind goes back to them. Did anyone else go through something similar?

Months is not very long. So totally natural to feel that way sometimes, and especially with Valentine’s Day being shoved down our throats.
Just accept it, feel it, and then let it go. It may come for a visit, but only worry if that feeling hangs around too much. It can take years, and even then it will pop up now and again. The difference is how we accept the feelings and move through them.

Hang in there.

(((Carebear)))
I agree with BB, a few months is nothing. It’s very early days on the healing journey. I completely empathise and understand that feeling when you wake up in the morning. Like you don’t want to get up. It’s really hard. I am going through that myself right now so you are not alone. But it does get easier, each day we are slowly healing even if it doesn’t feel like it.

I agree it doesn’t help having V day shoved down our throats!!! I am avoiding social media all day today.

Hang in there and please keep posting so we can support you.

Hi Carebear and welcome to SI. The Healing Library has a lot of great resources that you might find helpful, including the list of acronyms we use. Also, there's a thread in this forum where you can vent what you'd like about your XWS (wayward ex-spouse) to stay NC (No Contact.)

Healing from infidelity can take 2-5 years, and what you're feeling at months is very normal for the abnormal situation. You'll never be able to understand because you're applying logic to an illogical situation.

Would you be able to do IC (Individual Counseling) with a betrayal trauma specialist? I found mine to be so helpful in processing my feelings. Infidelity is the worst pain imaginable.

It does get better, so hang in there.

((Carebear))
((Summertime))
Virtual hugs.

I am so sorry you are going through this experience. I wish you peace and healing.

Surviving infidelity was very hard for me. I thought about EXWH for too long. But what I thought about was my idea of who I thought he was. With time I have come to disengage my feelings and emotional ties and memories.

I experienced the nasty discard with no warning and it’s a shock to the system.

It’s natural to have feelings and holidays can make things very "in your face".

Things will get better with time.

They did for me.

Im so sorry. Be kind and patient with yourself through this process. Grieving the loss of your relationship and the person you thought they were is a journey. It took me lots of therapy and a good two and a half years to really get through grief and recover from my ex’s betrayal (and the subsequent loss of our relationship). The time frame I used to hear on SI was it takes two to five years to heal. Months is not very long.

((((Carebear46))))