SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So, I have an off the wall question.
My BIL went to see a psychic medium due to his own personal issues and closure with some deaths in his family.
While he was there he brought up my H and the lady told him that my H had issues with communication and he shuts down when people talk to him and it will really hurt him in his future.

I am floored.

I am floored because we didn't ask him to bring us up and we are fairly religious and the idea of going to someone to predict the future or anything like that isn't something I am interested in, at least not right now.
He said " I was going to bring you up and show her your picture but we didn't have time"

Maybe I am overreacting because I am a very superstitious person and my life is already flipped upside down so why would I want to know that my marriage could fail even worse now with that communication comment. Sometimes i think people want to be helpful but in turn it makes it worse.

He is trying to push us to go see her because she does "relationship counseling".
I explained to him we are both in IC with THERAPISTS but he seems to think this would help.
I have told him several times, that why I think it is neat , it isn't for me.

So here i am asking am I overreacting, has anyone went to anyone like this for any relational advice?

Sorry, I know its a weird one....

Um, wow. I think I might have the "keep my name out of your mouth" type of reaction, too.

I know many people do believe in that sort of thing, but I also have a friend who has spent a lot of money on mediums... if they knew and told her the future, why does she have to keep coming back???

But, if your religion doesn't agree with mediums and fortune-telling, then this person's opinion of your husband can't mean much more than the opinion of any other stranger! Who knows if she can talk to spirits, angels, or just the voices in her head? She doesn't know you, she doesn't know your WH, and she certainly shouldn't be giving opinions on you to your family. How very odd. And how very odd of your BIL to think that was appropriate without discussing it with you first.

You are free to believe what you want but honestly in 2024 believing in people to predict the future is pure bullshi*.

I wouldn’t let anything like that trouble me. Saying that someone has difficulties communicating with people is one of the vaguest things she could say. For me she is the typical person who takes advantage of people in a vulnerable emotional status and it frankly disgusts me.

There have been "fortune tellers" near where I live that have conned people out of $5K, $10K, etc.

Facts: most men have poor communication skills. This isn’t new or anything. Most men are raised and conditioned to not express their emotions. I don’t know for sure, and I’d ask mods for confirmation, but I’d bet most members on SI identify as women. Just like most infidelity support groups, it’s usually majority women. Not always of course, and I have seen more BH/male S posting here, but men don’t usually talk about their inner most feelings. I sure don’t, and it’s something I am working on. I’m not going to write a term paper about this but it’s an extremely common issue in heterosexual relationships. Plus if your BIL made any hint at an affair to the "psychic" it would be an easy conclusion to make.

My opinion, it’s a grift. A well documented grift. People love to think they are special or unique, but truthfully most of our problems and flaws are universal. People who claim to have psychic abilities or whatever are really just good con artists. Plus, our brains are programmed to recognize things that match. She could have said 15 things wrong about WH, but said one thing that is broad and generic that matches your perception and that one point stands out over everything false.

Stick to trained professionals who don’t make conclusions about you, and who only allow you to express feelings and over advice and tools to work through complicated emotions.

A good IC would never say "you are not good at communicating". They would say "you should rethink how you communicate with your spouse, here is some peer reviewed research that shows more effective communication"

Hello, psychic medium here. :)

I am not a grifter. I am not delusional. My husband is a doctor twice over, and my friends are normal down to earth people. I have a bunch of pets, I enjoy helping people, and I have a rather high IQ. All of that is just to say that I am basically "the psychic medium next door." I call myself a kitchen table psychic. Most of the psychics you will meet in real life are just normal, down to earth people like me. The only difference between a psychic (a true psychic) and yourself is that a psychic has learned to tap in to (psychic) energy. It's just like when you think of someone and then they call you, or you pick up "vibes" from certain people around you. It's the same thing only more focused.

Psychics are not right 100% of the time, just like any other professional person is not right 100% of the time.

One important thing about future predictions is that everyone has free will. And they can change their minds and do something else at any time. Which in turn can change the future, even for someone on the periphery of those decisions. I know it sounds like a cop-out, but energy is constantly evolving and changing and affecting the world around it.

Your brother in law should possibly have not asked about your husband. I feel he only did it because he cares and wanted to help. If this psychic is correct about what she said about your husband, there may be a way forward to help him learn to open up. If she was not correct at all, just ignore it, and move on. No harm, no foul. Maybe let him know that you'd prefer he not discuss you or your direct family with psychics as it's not something you believe in.

Obviously, this isn't for everyone, and that's ok. I do feel that if people were taught to trust their instincts more, and to speak up when something feels off, there would be less crime and pain in the world. I wish children were taught to listen to that little voice inside, and to act on it, and maybe even to tap into the energy we are all connected to.