Topic is Sleeping.
Theburna1957 (original poster new member #84846) posted at 9:42 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2024
I got triggered my my WW the other week. She gaslit me around notihng going on and then threw her usual grenade into the battle, and it is a battle, she accused me of being controlling and her fact was that when she was in Japan last year with the daughter I knew when she had taken a large amount of cash from the savings account.
History is relevant, when she had cancer years back I took over the money organising so I set up all our bills so they come out in advance fortnightly. I also get emails if there are purchases that are large, unexpected and non-usual type spending.
I told her she can take back looking after the money if she wants and of course she doesn't want to take the responsibility.
She also threw a curved ball saying how my upcoming back operation $35,000 up front is from her money as well.
I sat through her 3 bouts of cancer, looked after our disabled daughter getting her to before school care, washing, feeding then going to work, coming home, picking her up from after school care then feeding her to leave and travel to the hsopital.
I worked 120 kms south of our home yet visited her 60 kms north of our home every day, held her hand and kept he family who didn't visit informed.
Yes in her eyes, I am the asshole.
Oh and to make things worse, my ex best mate is trying to link with me on Facebook. I guarantee she is "freinds" but I mentioned he sent me the request and she went ballistic saying I have to get over it.
HellIsNotHalfFull ( member #83534) posted at 11:48 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2024
Based on what you wrote I’d say that She’s self centered, immature, entitled, and lacks empathy.
You can’t change any of that. She is showing you who she is. Believe in what her actions are showing you.
Me mid 40s BH
Her 40s STBX WW
3 year EA 1 year PA.
DDAY 1 Feb 2022. DDAY 2 Jun 2022. DDAY 3/4/5/6/7 July 2024
Nothing but abuse and lies and abuse false R for three years. Divorcing and never looking back.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:51 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2024
Gently, using your energy thinking about how awful your W is doesn't seem productive. What do you hope to get out of it? I mean, I agree you describe a lousy partner ... but she's still your partner.
What do you want? Are you psyching yourself up to D? Do you want sympathy from people you tell about her? (You have it, but how does that help you change your sitch?)
What do you want to change in your life?
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:14 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2024
Agree she sounds very self-centered and lacks in the EQ department (has no emotional intelligence). What I have learned from having been married to someone like this... you only get one shot at life and is this how you want to spend the rest of it?
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 9:26 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2024
What is your plan moving forward? This does not appear to be a healthy relationship. Are you trying to reconcile or are you stuck in limbo?
Topic is Sleeping.
