Hi All.
Some of you might remember me posting awhile back about my brother and his LT ex-girlfriend, who our family all hated for ~8 years, but he eventually (thankfully!) broke up with her when he found out she cheated on him.
He was obviously sad post-breakup and went through a lot in the months after.
Last October he met someone else. He mentioned her for the first time when we saw him this past Thanksgiving, jokingly said that he was trying to find me a new sister-in-law, but it was too soon to bring this her around to meet the family.
We finally met her when he brought her home this past Easter and were overjoyed. We thought she was great. After they left, we joked that his last girlfriend set the bar so low that anyone would have been better, but she came, she made conversation & she brought cookies she baked herself! And not just something basic, like chocolate chip cookies, which still would have been appreciated. She made really good rainbow cookies from scratch. (If you're not familiar with rainbow cookies, google them.)
We saw him more these past few months, than we had seen him in the past few years. Every time he brought his girlfriend with him, we were so happy to spend time with her. They came to my daughter's dance recital, brought flowers, and then instead of hanging out with adults (which would have been perfectly acceptable), she spent a couple of hours playing board games with me, my cousin, and my daughter, doing silly voices the entire time.
That was the first time my cousin met her, and after they left, she jokingly said, "He better marry her, because if he doesn't, I will. I LOVE her."
We spent a lovely day at the beach this summer. FWH and I actually got to relax together for awhile (which is rare, we're usually taking turns with the kids in the water), while my brother and his girlfriend took my youngest into the ocean and let her play in the water and they kept a hand on her to keep her safe.
I posted on social media a silly meme about liking candy corn ('tis the season), and the next time she came over, she brought me a little bag of candy corn and ghost earrings. 
Just because!
It was apparent to everyone that saw them together how much happier my brother was. He just seemed lighter. Everyone that met her would gush about how great she was after she left -- she just was so genuine, and sweet, and thoughtful, with a touch of endearing goofiness.
Every time I saw my brother solo, I would (semi-jokingly) ask him when he was going to marry her because she was so great we wanted her to be a part of the family. He would tell me to chill because they hadn't even been dating a year yet, but would get this doofy smile and then say that he was working on it.
Anyways.
She died in a fucking awful tragic freak medical incident at work two weeks ago. She died by herself, having trouble breathing. How fucking awful to die at work! She spent days in the hospital with things going from bad to worse, never regaining consciousness, and then being declared brain dead days later.
It was just her birthday, and I mailed her a gift. She sent me a beautiful handmade thank you card that arrived in the mail a couple of days after she was in the hospital. 
When I saw the mail, I just remember saying, "Oh no," and thinking in some weird way this was her saying goodbye. Not that she or the USPS could have known.
My brother is absolutely devastated. Understandably. Her family came from out of state and made most of the medical decisions because they weren't married yet. Her remains will be shipped back to her home state and they're planning a TBD service.
He's basically been like a ghost. He's been cleaning out her apartment and giving away her stuff, and then late at night he goes and sleeps at my parent's house. I know multiple friends and family members have reached out to him, and he hasn't been responding. He told my mom he just can't deal with anyone yet.
We're all so heartbroken, and at the same time, it feels so silly to say that because I know it must be so much worse for him. I don't know what to do, because I don't think there's anything we can really do right now. There's no way to make this better, because we can't bring her back. It's just such a huge fucking senseless tragedy.
It feels wrong to be as heartbroken as I feel. I was so looking forward to getting to know her better, and was really hoping that one day she would officially be my sister-in-law. But I feel weirdly guilty because I know it's so much worse for my brother who is absolutely devastated. And I love my brother so much, that I wish I could just take his pain away, but the only way to do that would be to bring her back, which just isn't possible. Anyways. I just needed to get this out somewhere.
[This message edited by ibonnie at 2:35 AM, Tuesday, November 12th]
