Lemonpie (original poster member #84129) posted at 4:34 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2024
Hi everyone,
Sorry just need a place to rant or just to write things down. Things have been a lot better. The last time I posted a few weeks ago, I caught my WS talking to his Ap who is a work colleague that is in a different office location to him. Anyway so far all communication seems to have ended. He has promised she is no longer working in any joint projects but he has lied over the past two years that he ‘hated her’ and then I hear his very friendly conversation.
Anyway my husband has mentioned having a baby a few times. He knows that I always wanted lots but I feel very hurt and let down that he had an affair while our youngest was 6 months old. I can be very passive aggressive and the last time he brought it up he said, ‘it would be way of showing people we were strong as a couple’ I laughed and said or ‘they will think I am mad’. Anyway he got annoyed by that and was like you ‘see me as a joke as do others and you don’t have the long term interests of this family etc etc’
Anyway, I feel very torn, I always wanted lots but I feel I have as many children as I can manage particularly if I was left on my own (if he did it agin). Him cheating on me again does come into my thinking on this but I don’t know if that is a good way to live my life on a hypothetical. Anyway rant over, I don’t feel I can really talk to anyone about this
[This message edited by Lemonpie at 4:35 PM, Monday, December 2nd]
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 6:05 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2024
I agree with your thinking.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Formerpeopleperson ( new member #85478) posted at 6:48 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2024
Be careful.
Getting you pregnant reduces your freedom to do what you want and increases his freedom to do what he wants.
It’s never too late to live happily ever after
SackOfSorry ( member #83195) posted at 7:06 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2024
Him cheating on me again does come into my thinking on this but I don’t know if that is a good way to live my life on a hypothetical.
His cheating is not hypothetical. He did it. Of course you SHOULD live your life knowing full well it could happen again, and IMO, counting on it just in case.
Me - BW
DDay - May 4, 2013
And nothing's quite as sure as change. (The Mamas and the Papas)
OnTheOtherSideOfHell ( member #82983) posted at 7:13 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2024
For me, surviving his cheating meant living life on my terms and chasing my dreams. I’d never let his actions keep me from what I want in life. If I wanted another child or 10 more I’d either take the leap with him knowing I may be a single mother at some point or I’d search for a new relationship to develop and procreate knowing that even with a new spouse I may end up alone one day. Do what makes you happy. Life is a crapshoot and full of amazing highs and unfathomable lows,but I won’t crawl in a hole and give up.
