SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Today I sign my divorce settlement agreement online. I know it's going to be a rough day. And in one month it will be our wedding anniversary. 17 years. Hooray!

So I decided with state parks reopening to book myself a nice long weekend hiking trip by myself for the anniversary weekend. I'll spend two days out in nature, getting exercise and sunlight. Then hopefully be able to enjoy great food and maybe a massage at the spa.

Then the week following I move into my own very first solo adult apartment. Its a great place with awesome access to downtown and the lake and so many great parks. And I won't have to worry about running into them in the neighborhood anymore walking my dog, or grocery shopping.

I also started OLD. I have matched with many women, and actually even gotten into real conversations with a couple of them. It's super weird to start a relationship with a non-narc and not being love bombed and overwhelmed by too-soon closeness.

I'm not happy, and none of it really feels good, but I'm doing it anyway. I can look and say objectively it's much better. I'm holding on to that for now.

Good for you on every aspect of your post.

It is not only okay to be alone for a while it is also recommended by some people much smarter than myself.

This is a great time to get to know who you are as a single man and enjoy the time without much of the external pressures you have been experiencing.

Good for you. What an exciting time for you having a brand new beginning. You can create the life you want.

I know what you mean about not being afraid to run into them...I hated that because I lived in a small town with the ex for 7 years. YUCK

Once I moved away it was very freeing.

I agree with Fooled about the dating. It takes a log time to recover from a narc and in the beginning many of us are very vulnerable. In my case, I kept attracting other narcs and got to practice not getting caught up...but it hurt terribly and I caused myself unnecessary trauma. I wish I would have waited until I was healed more.

Sounds like a great plan! Some of my favorite memories are mixed within those days you are experiencing now. You can grab the little moments and discover new feelings of discovery. Pretty cool actually.

I really enjoyed reading your post. I smiled. That was me 12 months ago, Looking forward to getting the keys to my own solo adult apartment. I have been here 11 months. June 28 I will celebrate myself.

I choose to be single for a while, maybe forever but it’s nice to have a chat with no pressure. Enjoy your hiking trip. I am a little envious as we’re going into winter in the Southern Hemisphere but planning for happy sunny days ahead 🙏🏼

Is really “faking” if you’re truly making steps towards recovery? I don’t think so 🤔 Again, it’s probably not “healed” but most definitely positive progress 🤓

Love that you are going camping. I think you do keep doing the things that move you forward, but leave room for residual sadness. It takes time to work through it all. And as it subsides, the other things will bring more joy.

Have a wonderful trip.

The hiking trip with a good meal and a nice massage at a spa sound amazing. Apartment with awesome acces to a lake? I would love that! Summer is almost here and you can enjoy all the activities you can do on the water.

Just keep going. When I first had a depressive episode, my doctor told me to smile in the mirror, even though I didn't feel like it. He said the sight of seeing myself smile, makes my brain make neurotransmitters that will make me feel more happy, so more likely to smile. Just fake it till you make it, it works!

Another thing that really works for me, is paying attention and practicing gratitude to all the little positive things in daily life. I take time to write them in my journal, to extend the attention I give them. Beautiful roses in my street, nice cup of coffee in bed in the morning, showered and with a clean pyjama into a bed with clean sheets, I write it all down and revel in it.

Love the positive attitude, sounds like you'll be ok to me