Topic is Sleeping.
Gumdropped (original poster member #40798) posted at 5:20 AM on Sunday, January 16th, 2022
I haven’t been on here for MONTHS! So much has happened. But I am happy to say that after struggling for the last three years knowing that I have been in a 10 year relationship with a Covert Narcissist, I have kicked him out. I have struggled from day 1 in this relationship, including his cheating on me for the first 16 months of what thought as a monogamous relationship. Have questioned my sanity, and I got to the point of being emotionally and physically exhausted. My Doctor has known for the last 2 1/2 years and has helped to support me while I finally got the gumption to end this nightmare. If any others here have been or are questioning why they feel off balance all the time you could be dealing with this very abusive covert person. The abuse is real folks. And you don’t even know it’s happening. Lies, gas lighting, moodiness, sullen, cold eyes, jealousy over spending time on others rather than focusing 24 hours a day on them, absolutely no empathy for others, entitlement, rules aren’t meant for them, poor treatment of service staff/waiters etc ( unless they are good looking women), poor decisions blamed on everything/everyone other than themselves. I just heard something very powerful the other day - when the devil can’t get to you they send a covert narcissist in their place…… hurting over a relationship that was only ever in my mind, but very thankful to be free of it.
Me: 63 Him 67 finally kicked him out Dec 2021
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:27 PM on Sunday, January 16th, 2022
Great update, Gumdropped. The roller coaster will start to slow down, but be prepared for a few more ups and downs.
Better days are ahead!
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 7:32 PM on Sunday, January 16th, 2022
Congratulations on your freedom! My XWH is a covert narc. It's amazing how much calmer life is now.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
Gumdropped (original poster member #40798) posted at 8:28 PM on Sunday, January 16th, 2022
Thanks Bearly and Leafields. Yes this part of the journey has just begun for me. Learning to be happy on my own. My stress level has gone down by 85% and getting better each day. Reconnecting with people that had distanced themselves from me (they obviously saw what was happening with him as well) and with people that he worked on alienating me from. Having the hardest time knowing that after only two weeks he’s on the dating scene again. I feel sorry for the poor woman that falls prey to his personality disorder. Should go out and buy a sympathy card ……..
Me: 63 Him 67 finally kicked him out Dec 2021
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 9:49 PM on Sunday, January 16th, 2022
Yeah, mine moved in with his new schmoopie, and got engaged 4 months after D was final. They have to have that narcissistic supply. I watched a lot of Dr. Ramani's YouTube videos, so I was expecting him to latch on to somebody quickly.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:15 PM on Monday, January 17th, 2022
Good for you! The best thing I ever did for myself was get rid of the narc. My health has improved exponentially and my current peace of mind and freedom is invaluable.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 1:16 AM on Tuesday, January 18th, 2022
And now that he’s gone, read up on "grey rock". You want to appear very dull to him so he will stay away.
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55
Gumdropped (original poster member #40798) posted at 5:40 AM on Tuesday, January 18th, 2022
Yes Homewrecked you are right about that. I’m in no contact mode for sure. It’s a good thing and I keep reminding myself of that. One day at a time
Me: 63 Him 67 finally kicked him out Dec 2021
shareonhearts ( member #52869) posted at 7:27 PM on Friday, January 28th, 2022
Hey there Gumdrop
I'm so proud and happy for you. I became involved with someone after my divorce that made me feel very OFF kilter. Honestly, it was probably a game to him. Who the hell knows? It went on for a little over a year and I'm happy to report NO CONTACT EVER!
You will begin to feel so free and HAPPY once you have space.
Sending my best Sweetie.....Hold TOUGH!
Fool me once shame on me......Fool me twice shame on YOU!
Topic is Sleeping.
