SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am new to this forum. I live in the Uk. I found out 2.5 months ago that my H had been having an affair. I didn’t see it coming and feel foolish!
We have been together 22 years, married for 19. We have three teenage children. My H was acting strange for a few months before I found out. Started exercising more, taking care of his appearance, started being critical of me and grumpy with the kids. I knew in my gut something was wrong and I asked him if he was seeing someone. He replied that he had started seeing someone in 2019 when he was away in Europe for work. My H travels for work and from 2017 until the pandemic, he was away half the week to Europe. He said he had been unhappy in the marriage for years and met someone whilst away for work. He said they still texted during the pandemic and he still has feelings for her. I thought we were happy. He said the classic line of ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’. He refused to go to counselling and said he didn’t think we could fix our marriage. He said his AP had almost died a year ago and that she was still ill. He hasn’t travelled to Europe much since the pandemic but pre discovery, he went over to see her a few times and they both still have feelings for each other, even though she is now with someone else (if that is true!). He said there is no plan for her to move to the UK as she is too ill and he won’t move to Europe because of the kids.
I kicked him out and he stayed with friends initially and is now renting a place nearby.
Also, 11 years ago, while I was pregnant with my youngest, my H was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He is now in remission but it will come back at some stage according to his doctor.
Neither of us got counselling at the time and he said he didn’t want to discuss it with me after a while as he wanted to forget about it. Now looking back, I think that changed us.
Also, he always initiated sex. I struggle with being affectionate. He now says that he thought I didn’t love him as I wasn’t caring enough to him or having sex enough. That is why the affair happened as our marriage had broken down and he stopped having feelings for me. However, we still spent lots of one to one time together, getting babysitters and going on dates.
Around the time, he started having the affair, we stopped having regular sex and for the past few years, have not had sex much. We also weren’t cuddling and I felt a drift between us. I know now that he was seeing the AP then. I blame myself for not discussing our lack of intimacy.
A few weeks after discovery, I found out he was still texting his AP. I asked him to break all contact and he said he did. Of course, I don’t know if that is true. I don’t know his password for his phone, computer etc. I used to but he changed it years ago, apparently because he had a fraud alert! I feel stupid for not seeing the red flag! I asked him for passwords to phones, computer etc and he said there has been no contact but he has photos of her archived and he doesn’t want me snooping. I haven’t pushed it further as it has been the holiday period.
He is still in his own place but he is in the house constantly and is very caring towards me and the kids and is cooking, helping out etc. During the holiday period he has been staying here but in a separate room. There has been no intimacy with us but we are still friends and hanging out. He says I am his best friend!
He is in IC, as am I and he said that he is a mess after his cancer and depressed and once he has worked on himself, he will go to MC with me. However, he said he doesn’t want to go back with me if he will be miserable and at the moment, he doesn’t trust himself to be faithful! He said he is not committed to reconciling. He says he needs an emotional, physical and spiritual connection and he doesn’t know if he can have that with me!
In a few weeks he will be starting to travel each week to London with one overnight stay. He said he will give me flight details, diary, hotel details but I still don’t trust him.
My gut is telling me that he is still texting his AP. He is certainly still in the fog. I think I need to ask to see his phone and put some boundaries in place but I am struggling and not sleeping much still. I also believe that it is pointless going to MC if he is not fully committed or remorseful. He says he has shame but I don’t believe he is remorseful. He said no-one else knew about the affair and after discovery, he had to tell family, work and friends. My kids also found out. I think that is where the shame is coming from rather than remorse for what he did to me.
I think he wants his family and the security of his life but still wants his AP. I still care for him and want us to work it out but don’t want to be with someone that loves someone else or who only stays for the sake of the kids. Don’t know what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Sorry for the long message and so much information! Thanks for reading.

First of all I'm very sorry you had to find this place. But it's the best place to be in this situation. Second his affair is not your fault. You were in the same marriage and did not cheat. That is 100% on him. Third do not let him cake eat. Set your boundaries and then watch his actions. Empty words or no action is also a choice.

Take care of yourself and your children.

I'm so sorry that this is happening,Britishgirl.

You are not alone, and you will be supported here.

You seem to be assessing the situation well. He is not remorseful and is likely still in contact with the other woman.

He refers to you as his best friend and that's his attempt to have his cake and eat it too. He would love to continue the relationship with the affair partner (and possibly other women if that relationship doesn't pan out) and also be chums with you.

You would be the one hurt in this situation and he keeps getting just what he wants. Don't be friendly with him. Try to strictly limit your time together or even avoid it all together. You shouldn't be mean in front of the kids, but he needs to know that, since he isn't adhering to loyalty in the relationship, you are no longer available to support him emotionally or in any other way.

You are right that--without remorse and without a strong commitment to go no contact with the AP, to change his need for outside validation and romance, and to become transparent to you on all electronic devices--he is not a candidate for reconciliation.

Right now, he's busy making this your fault. It's great that you own your part in the lack of intimacy, but he chose cheating as his path himself. It's not your fault and you didn't drive him to it. He ran willingly. He needs to own that.

I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling. Withdraw your support and also his ability to come and go freely from your house. Schedule time for him to spend with the kids separately from you. He needs to know he has lost you and feel that loss.

Thanks so much childofcheater and breakingbad. It’s excellent advice and is what I have been feeling myself that I need to do. I am going to arrange a time, away from the kids to speak with him and set boundaries. Thanks again for replying.

Thanks so much childofcheater and breakingbad. It’s excellent advice and is what I have been feeling myself that I need to do. I am going to arrange a time, away from the kids, to speak with him and set boundaries. Thanks again for replying.

Hi Britishgirl. So very sorry you are here. This is one hellava tough and painful road.

It's quiet around here due to the holidays but others will come and support you.

My immediate reaction to your post is that you don't have much to work with here in terms of reconciliation. FOR NOW. Your instinct that he wants the secure, family gig and the AP seems spot on to me.

I'll assume that is not acceptable to you. I can tell you from experience that as long as he can have both, he will. If he is unsure of how he feels about you or the marriage it is highly unlikely he has stopped contact with AP. I mean, HIGHLY UNILIKELY. With his upcoming travel I'd assume with 99.9 percent certainty he will see her.

So you must decide what your boundaries are at this point. Do you want to be in a triad marriage? If no, then remove yourself. Do not allow him to cake eat - have you and the comfort of his children and his mistress. He's asking to you to kind of wait until he figures it out. You can do that of course, but you will suffer greatly for it and by the time he chooses you, the damage will be so great the marriage might fail anyway.

So what are your boundaries? It might be, for now, that he does not come and go as he pleases. Arrange a time for him to see the children. Without you in the mix. It's so very, very hard to detach from someone we love but if you don't, you will get hurt over and over again. Perhaps you might consider a separation agreement, even if informal, where the financials and visitation are worked out but otherwise, there is no contact.

Consult an attorney to learn your rights. Make it clear to him (if this is your desire) that being in a threesome isn't an option and you will move forward without him.

I'll also say this: your lack of affection did not drive him to an affair. He had other options if he was unhappy in the marriage. And if he respected you in any way, he would have exercised those options before getting a girlfriend.

Having said that, are you in love with him? You describe a distance and lack of intimacy that can happen but you indicate that it's been ongoing for some time. Sometimes when an affair happens we instantly cling to what we had and it makes us think it's what we want. Did you still want him the past few years? Do you truly want him now? Just something to think about. The rush of feelings now may be panic and hurt and while it's awful, it's probably best to not make decisions in that state. Take time away from him. Focus on you and your healing. See how you feel in a few months.

I think he needs to NOT be staying in your home. He has stated he doesn’t think "he can be happy with you". Based in that statement, you should live apart and set very clear boundaries.

You establish a co-parenting plan with him.

You are not "his best friend" any longer. You don’t have to be mean but as others pointed out, he wants you as his safety net and the OW as his "test drive".

Talk to a few attorneys. Understand alimony and child support and co-parenting.

When you start to pull back from him, you may see a change in him. Be prepared for his anger or whatever he may come up with. You are interfering with "his plans" and once it doesn’t go according to his plan, you don’t know how he will react.

I'm so sorry Britishgirl. D Day was 2 weeks ago for you. I remember sitting in MC prior is last time he cheated and my WH said he "didn't know" if he could stop cheating on me. The therapist said "you hear that he is telling you he doesn't know if he can be faithful" and then asked me why I wanted to continue that relationship. It really made me thing.

I am feeling so sorry for you. You must be going through absolute hell. There seems to be a lot of really good people and advice here. I'm so sorry that you're here.

I think for me....after the shock wears off might be worse. At first the pain/crying/agony was excruciating. Now it's just a dull ache that persists.

Thanks everyone. This helps so much. It is exactly what my gut has been telling me and it helps to know that I am not going crazy.
Whilst he has been staying here, I have noticed that he keeps his phone on him at all times. He even takes it into the shower with him. His phone used to beep constantly but now it never beeps. He must have turned off his notifications. It is clearly a red flag and shows that is is highly likely that he is still in contact with her.
About 6 weeks after discovery, he suddenly told me that he had to go to London for work, which involved an overnight stay. I asked him why he couldn’t just do a day trip. We live a good distance from London but you can still go down in the morning and come back at night. However, he told me that he needed to go down for an important work dinner. The trip mid January is the same thing. I asked him to go down for the day and he said it was an important work dinner that he had to attend. Said he will only go for the day if it was too difficult for me. Made me feel guilty, so I agreed as long as he gave me hotel, flight bookings. That was when I asked for passwords etc but he pushed back saying he didn’t want me to go trawling through his phone. Your advice has really helped me see the reality of what is going on. He is most likely still meeting her in London. Feel I have been betrayed again.
The biggest hurt is how he can do this to the kids and keep doing this to the kids. All of my kids were in a terrible state and my middle daughter is in counselling, having threatened to kill herself. How can he be so selfish. My eldest also has important exams when he is down mid January, which is one of the reasons I asked him not to do an overnight. His desire for her is clearly more important than his family. I feel like he is this person I don’t recognise.
I spoke to an attorney the first week after discovery. My friend pushed me to do it. I have put the attorney on hold as I believed we had a chance of working things out. I also gathered all the financial information when it first happened and have hid it all.
Previously he dealt with all banking. I was just so busy with the kids and I trusted him. It was one less thing for me to deal with. Really do feel that I have been so stupid over the years. I discovered that he was using a personal credit card to buy her gifts etc. He said again that he didn’t want me having the password as he didn’t want me trawling through history as that won’t help. At the time, I was so shocked at finding out about the affair that I thought that was probably for the best but I asked him to show me the transactions for the last few months when he had no time to hide anything. There was a payment on the card to a porn site, which he admitted to. He closed the card down shortly after saying he wanted us to have transparency with all financials. He said he will use a different credit card for travel but I still don’t have access to that.
I am starting to wonder what else was on the credit card and what else he is hiding. I haven’t asked lots of details about what happened, mainly due to shock and feeling sick every time I thought about it. I need to ask him what else he is hiding, though it is unlikely I will get the truth.
I also need to get an STI test. Even though we didn’t have lots of sex over the last few years, we did have sex not long before discovery. Realise this is now a priority and to tell him to get one too. Again I don’t know if he had unprotected sex but reading the comments on this site, I realise now that is possible. It just all feels so unbelievable.
The other difficulty is that he is the main breadwinner. I gave up my career to bring up the kids and only went back to work a few years ago. I earn very little in comparison. Also, he is starting a new job in a few weeks. He has been unhappy in his job for years. That was the main reason I thought he was being distant! So many red flags but thanks to your experience, I am starting to come out of my own fog I believe and seeing the reality of the situation.
It’s just so hard to believe that someone I trusted, gave up my career for, would do this to me and his kids.
TheEnd, your question about whether I maybe am not in love with him, is what I have been asking myself for the last week. Over the last week, I have went from feelings of love to just not wanting to get back with him and not being sure if I was or am still attracted to him. I think taking time away from him and emotionally disconnecting is what I need to find out whether I do want to get back with him or whether it is just panic and fear of an uncertain and scary future, so thanks for your advice.
Another thing that I have noticed this week is that he has started to grow facial hair. He knows I hate him having facial hair, so I am starting to think that maybe she likes it. He is also starting to get into his fitness again. So many red flags.
I am now at the stage that I don’t know what the truth is anymore. I am starting to wonder if the story about his AP being sick is another lie as when I pushed for information about it, he was very cagey. Must be so stressful being a WS and living a life of so many lies.
Thanks again for all of your advice. It has helped reinforce what I have been thinking this last week. I just need to now come up with a plan for boundaries and to disconnect from him.

Maybe before the London trip you should advise him that he needs to find a new place to stay.

For good!!!

I’m sorry your children are struggling and he’s decided to put his needs and want first. Chester’s are just so selfish!! 😡😡

I'm so sorry for what you've been going through. You'll find a lot of good info in the Healing Library to get you started. Please understand that nothing you did could have caused your WH to cheat if the propensity for it wasn't already inside him. Cheating isn't about life's circumstances. It's about character and values and integrity. Nothing you could have done could MAKE your WH throw his truest beliefs out the window. His core value of fidelity was weak and permeable. You didn't cause that.

It sounds to me like your WH is cake-eating, and it's been doubly hard for you to close down the bakery because he's got a serious cancer history. I'll tell you though, if my own fWH had believed for a second that he could carry on acting like a bachelor while still keeping me and his family dynamic, that's what he would be doing still today. Ultimatums aren't wise unless you're willing to carry through on them, of course. But it's a false illusion of safety that one might wait the cheater out. What happens then is that they leave in their own comfort and time instead. By failing to make the choice a stark one, the cheater gets time to acclimate and then just drifts away into his new life.

It's your call, but I'll tell you, in my own situation, I went right for D on dday. Within a week, it was him asking ME for more time. He messed that up, of course, and I caught him in contact with an OW after a few weeks at that point, he had about thirty seconds to decide if he was 'all in" or 'all out'. He ghosted the OW on the spot and that was that.

Not everyone will get that result, but what's the alternative? Waiting for him to ease his way out of the marriage while he runs in and out like an honored guest? What good is that? He's already gone.

I think if it was me, I'd shut down the bakery and if he opts for "out", I'd see that attorney and file. I'd mean it too. He's put you through a lot already, and your kids are watching to see how you handle this. It's the moment they will model their own relationships on. Your WH got a raw deal with a cancer diagnosis, but that doesn't mean he gets to abuse people.

You have a tough row to hoe just now, but you WILL be alright. Have faith in yourself

((Hugs))

[This message edited by SI Staff at 3:44 PM, Tuesday, January 3rd]

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. You are not the only one.
Feeling pain, anger, humiliation, and all the other fun stuff that comes with betrayal is normal.
You are on an emotional roller coaster and it's not your fault, you have to go through the process, unfortunately.
However, I do see a lot of the members and people like us who have been betrayed let the sadness, trigger, and depression take control over their lives, they embrace the D.o.D like a Tattooed prisoner ID and lock themselves in this prison.
I hope with time you muster the strength to overcome those emotions and own them. You control them, never the other way.

Remember that there is nothing more whole than a broken heart and from this tragedy, you will grow and become stronger.
Give your self time to feel the pain, but also start working on gaining control over your thoughts. Filter them, for ex. Does this thought or feeling helps me move fw or does it bring me down with o purpose?

Stay strong!!

You could say (without meaning it) "Hey WH, it would be fun for us to go to London together and stay another day!"

I bet he'd have all kinds of excuses why that wouldn't work...

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the advice and support. So glad I joined this site.
I spoke to him today. I was spiralling and have been for the last few days. I asked him lots of questions today about the AP. I have been too traumatised to ask much before. I wanted to find out information before I enforce proper boundaries as he won’t tell me anything after that. Not that I can trust he is telling the truth. I never thought I would become such a distrusting person, especially of someone I have spent half my life with. So sad.
I also asked to see his phone and went through everything on his phone and asked for his password. There was nothing there but from reading the site, I know they can delete, have burner phones etc. He admitted he still had feelings for the AP but said that he knew it wouldn’t work out with her and said he had not had contact. Don’t believe or trust that is true. There was a couple of things he said that I thought contradicted what he had said before. I read on the site that I should start writing down what he says so I can check the facts later on. He admitted he had been in a bubble with her.
He also admitted he had unprotected sex. Can’t believe how stupid he has been. He said he got an STD test in the summer but I don’t know if that is true. I will have to get one now asap, which I had been planning on doing anyway. He still has misplaced loyalty for her though and obviously is still protective of her. He said that she had mental and physical issues and I said that I wasn’t surprised that she had mental health issues as why would you go with a married man with kids. He got very defensive and said she hadn’t been nasty about me. Major red flag!
He also admitted that he was worried he might relapse and was trying to stop caring about the AP and said his counsellor was helping him understand that she was a part of his past and he needs to move on. Maybe progress but don’t know but still not where he needs to be for R sadly.
I told him that there would be no reconciliation unless he was one hundred per cent committed, remorseful (which I told him he wasn’t and didn’t own what he did still) and he had no feelings for the AP or anyone else and was fully transparent with social media access etc. I said he wasn’t anywhere near being ready to reconcile and neither was I and I needed time on my own to heal and grow.
I told him he needed to stay in his flat still but I haven’t yet did a full 180. I know I need to but want to wait until after my eldest sits his exams in mid January. Said we will speak again after my son’s exams. I know I need to do total boundaries after mid January but so tough as he is a master manipulator. Comes across like he wants to work towards R but my gut is telling me he is manipulating me still. Kicking myself for not being tougher.
I’m also considering putting money into a separate bank account gradually and hiring a PI, so I have proof either way. Not sure how I will get proof otherwise. My H is very tech savvy, which I am not.

T I asked him lots of questions today about the AP. I wanted to find out information before I enforce proper boundaries as he won’t tell me anything after that.

You know he cheated, you have every reason to set and enforce proper boundaries love. I don't know if this is contrary to popular opinion here but I recommend starting NC immediately. It is great to get some separation from WS and sit with your feelings. Deep breathing and just paying attention to your breath will help regulate your nervous system. Then I recommend doing something enjoyable for yourself. Read a book, get a massage, take a bath, watch a good movie, a drink with a friend ANYTHING to distract yourself. Try to find genuine joy in one thing daily. I know that this will sound insane, but if you can just find a moment of happiness in something (the feeling of the sun on your face, a bite of a delicious sandwich, laughing at something funny) and notice it. Aim for 1 but every evening write down in a journal any moments no matter how brief that you experienced joy. It works. I'm not a nut.

I’m also considering putting money into a separate bank account gradually and hiring a PI, so I have proof either way.

Please please please don't waste your money on a PI. Unless you live where there is some punishment for infidelity it's just a waste of your money and mental peace at this point. But do put the money away. I also say take a "lil somethin' for momma" and do something nice for yourself. You deserve it.

OP, so sorry for what you are going through. It's a nightmare, I know. But what I think might be helpful for some people to do is to try to disengage from the many emotions that come up during this horrible time and try to be as objective and dispassionate about your marriage as you can.

I think it's important for you to try to determine what it is YOU really want and need from life at this point. Right now, it's all been about what he wants and what he's doing and you can speculate endlessly based on the BS he tells you - and it IS speculation because you can't know what the truth is with him.

You now know a lot of things about him that you would not have known or imagined before. He must seem like a different person now. And not a husband, nor a friend, but someone is who is a potential enemy who can really destabilize and hurt you and your kids. Obviously at least one of your kids is really devastated and he doesn't seem to care. I have to wonder if his current actions are a result of his near death experience with cancer - perhaps her sickness (if it's real as he says) is a bond they have. He might also be playing the "White Knight" role in trying to help her - it pumps him up and makes him feel important.

But.....who cares. His actions show that he does not care about you, your children, or your marriage. That's the bottom line take away from this. If you keep thinking about what he's doing or going through or trying to get him to explain it to you, you'll keep going in circles because he has obviously decided THIS is the priority in his life and you'll never know what the truth is because he keeps hiding it and lying about it, for various reasons.

If I were you, I would focus on ME and what "I" want and what the realities of the situation are. If you did not have children, would you still want or stay with this man? Do you love him? Everyone says yes at the start but I think that's a reflection of the past and basically a habit. Do you really LOVE this person you are seeing now? Why would you love him? Why did you love him as a husband? Were you fulfilled in this marriage? Did you get what YOU wanted out of it? If you didn't have kids, would you just end this? Why do you stay in this marriage at all? Is it "love"? Is it "fear"? Is it "need"? Is it that you don't have an adequate job or money?

All of those things are understandable and I don't judge any of them. It's just important that you consider these things as OBJECTIVELY and without emotion as you can. No sorrow over what has happened, no mourning over the past. THIS IS THE PRESENT NOW, this is WHO HE IS NOW. Instead of focusing on what he is doing, which you can't control, or what he wants, which apparently you can't provide, or what he's saying to you, which you can't verify....FOCUS ON YOURSELF, what you need, what you want, how you feel. Do you really want to stay with someone who can do something as rotten as this to you and your children, WHATEVER his "reasons" might be? Do you really want to have a future with this person?

I would suggest you disengage yourself emotionally from him and just view him as possible a "friend" - because he's really not even that now. You have a situation you have to work yourself out of. You need to think in terms of practical realities now because that will keep you trapped regardless of how you feel about him. You need to talk to a lawyer and find out how you can make the best arrangements in a divorce or separation from him for you and the kids. You need to know what kind of evidence if any, you need (I don't know any UK laws). You need to secure finances from him - the lawyer will help. You need to figure out how to get a better job and what you need to do that so you can build a life for you and the kids. FINANCES ARE CRITICAL RIGHT NOW. If it were just me and I were single, I'd just leave his ass. But with kids, you have to plan. That's why it's so important to NOT FOCUS ON HIM AND WHAT HE DOES AT ALL EXCEPT TO PROVIDE YOU WITH RESOURCES FOR YOU AND THE KIDS. If I were you, that is solely how I would regard him now because that's the only thing you can start to control. You need to re-build independence for you and your kids. Also, you need to learn as much about your family finances as possible - he might be using these monies to finance his BS and that might be money you can get back from him in a divorce (again per UK law).

What I'd advise you to do is NOT TO BOTHER WITH HIM ANY MORE, unless you need evidence for a divorce/separation, and not to ask him any more questions, to deal with him as little as possible, but just focus on your FINANCIAL AND RESOURCE NEEDS for you and the kids so you can have real independence to make real decisions for yourself instead out of being trapped. And ask yourself those questions I put up - do you really now love this person and why? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him even if it were possible? What kind of marriage DO YOU WANT? Maybe it could be with someone else. HE MIGHT NOT FILL YOUR NEEDS ANYMORE AND MAYBE HE HASN"T FOR A LONG TIME. This whole business is not your fault, this is solely his set of decisions to REBUILD HIS LIFE THE WAY HE WANTS IT. You were not included in any of these decisions even as a consideration.

Keep thinking EXCLUSIVELY of yourself and your kids and what YOUR needs and wants are. He has lost any right to that and if he wants it back - HE is going to have to WORK FOR IT over a period of time and frankly......I wouldn't bother.

I don’t know if he’s playing you or not.

Cheaters lie to others and to themselves. They swear on the lives of their parents or kids when lying through their teeth. Self preservation is strong in those that give themselves permission to destroy others in order to get what they want. They say they are trying to save you from pain but also want to keep their secrets.

Trust only what you can verify.

Don’t lend a supportive ear to him telling you about his feelings for his co conspirator in selfishness. It’s hard enough to deal with the facts of infidelity but exposure to their interpretations of their behavior or possible future behavior is death by a thousand cuts. Setting boundaries is for you. His head is still lodged you know where. Until he gets a clue be skeptical and protect yourself.

As many have mentioned he is very comfortable. He is getting something out of the tug of war. Keeping you guessing and worried and passive gives him time. Either to cake eat with the both of you or get you picking up the effort in the pick me dance.

The hardest thing for me to do after the affair is let go of the outcome. I said I wanted boundaries, but I wanted R more. So I waffled, I negotiated, I rationalized. With myself, with him, with the freaking universe….. I wasted a lot of time. Because one half of the marriage can’t R for the both of you.

You have a great start. You know what you want, expect. This is a great place to come for support!

Thanks All. Fantastic advice. Going to focus on me and the kids for now and just take some time to sort through my feelings and what I want for the future. Everyone has been so helpful. Thanks again.

Thanks All. Fantastic advice. Going to focus on me and the kids for now and just take some time to sort through my feelings and what I want for the future. Everyone has been so helpful. Thanks again.

Hi @Britishgirl so sorry to hear you're having to go through the pain of betrayal. Indeed it's good to take time out to sort your feelings and gain clarity on what you want.

No matter what happens, do remember that you are worthy of love that can be trusted. Praying the near future brings wisdom for the decisions you need to make and emotional healing & strength for you and your precious children.

Much hugs from a fellow UK resident ))).

[This message edited by BellaLee at 3:09 PM, Sunday, January 8th]