SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Oh my, I blew the dust off my profile and added the 10 years divorced today. Yeah, it does get better. Wish there was a happily ever after thing but I haven’t experienced that though I have a pretty amazing life in every other way but a solid, present partner in this crazy, awful, and beautiful world.

The best sort of revenge, if you must, is to live an authentic, open hearted life. I have had love for two or three men since divorce. I could picture a life w them. The love was not reciprocated. Have love for a man on the cusp of retirement and has been in another city from the one we met. Says he wants to be together. We shall see.

In the mean time I am living my life. Travel. Bought a vintage two flat with rental income, and sold the house I shared in our marriage, just before the pandemic. Couldn’t be happier in my new neighborhood, the house itself, and an amazing and huge new studio space for art making. A beautiful park across the street and is along the banks of an urban river. I paddle in my canoe I bought when I got divorced, named "Chapter Three," and try to get out on the water as often as I can.

Him: married one of the women he was so in love with. Living in northern CA among the poly community. Wanted to check in during the worst of the pandemic to ask how all that blissful multi partner shit was going but I didn’t! 😏

Then, my niece called yesterday. Married quite young, (19) to a Navy dude. Two years later pregnant w second. Found traces and clues of porn, sexting, and blah blah blah. I sent her the link to this amazing support system that I used for commiserating, support, enlightenment, and understanding. I know it will be helpful to her if she clicks. She also has a therapist but is isolated in every other way. Hopefully moving closer soon.

I maintain my world was and still is bigger than his shit. I wish the same for my niece and of us who have loved someone with poor decision making skills regarding their partnership and really, regarding their own integrity on this earth.

Tonight I am going out to fancy restaurant w a friend and celebrating having lost a burden of 200 lbs, aka the ex hub.

Peace to all.

Thanks for coming back to update. Life does get better post D. It is surprisingly better for myself as well. I have no regrets except that I hadn't done it sooner. I too hope your niece will find the helpful and informative information here. It was life saving for me!

The best sort of revenge, if you must, is to live an authentic, open hearted life.

Your personal update is great. I am working on getting the best sort of revenge. I'm lovin' it.

So sorry for your niece. Infidelity is the worst.

@crazyblinsighted, Hank you for your response. So sorry we are both here. Yeah, I shoulda pulled the plug earlier too. My belief in the institution of marriage with him felt right. I couldn’t do that lone. So glad things are better for you, now. Man, it takes awhile. Had some friends over last night and we had an outdoor fire. I burned a journal with some notes I wrote to him but knew I wouldn’t send. Knew also that I would burn them some day. This things is sure a process. May most of your days be brighter.

@leafields thanks so much for your response. That work is real and daily. This I know. When I would spin out during the worst of it, I pictured a STOP sign and intentionally changed my thoughts. Hard, hard work. Occasionally I go back to that but much less frequent and for minuscule periods of time. But, geez, it sure messes with a human. Infidelity is the worst. It is a death that I think is much worse than a real death. The person still walks as a different person than they presented. What a lonely life. May your revenge process lead to a beautiful life. I am loving mine.

Thank you for posting this it has given me some hope