Topic is Sleeping.
Howcthappen (original poster member #80775) posted at 1:10 AM on Tuesday, November 7th, 2023
Not sure if I’m allowed to ask this here but I’m going to and if it gets deleted I’ll find another forum.
Are you divorcing because o initial cheating discovered from one person or are you divorcing because it was false reconciliation and your W never stopped cheating or did they years later go back to cheating with the same AP?
Three years since DdayNever gonna be the sameReconcilingThe sting is still present
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 1:58 AM on Tuesday, November 7th, 2023
I divorced cus mine never got serious about fixing his shit. Staying with him would have meant putting up with more than I was willing to do and dishonoring myself and allowing his constant disrespect. That was a shit sandwich I was not willing to choke down.
If it helps you at all, I have never, not for one second, regretted the choice to divorce. It sucks that I was forced into a position where I had to make the choice, but it's the best thing I did for myself ever. My life has done nothing but improve ever since.
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
TwiceWounded ( member #56671) posted at 3:21 PM on Tuesday, November 7th, 2023
Last straw. I guess. STBXWW initiated D during her most recent A, so she could stop feeling like a cheater.
We had some false R in there for sure. Can’t believe I put up with so much and tried so hard, but I’m still healing and learning.
Finally time to divorce, at age 40. Final D Day 10/29/23.
Married since 2007. 1st betrayal: 2010. Betrayals 2 - 5 through 2016. Last betrayal Sept/Oct 2023. Now divorce.
2 young kids.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 4:52 PM on Tuesday, November 7th, 2023
I am divorcing because of WHO my xWS is, which is a serial cheater (many A's and gave me False R), narcissistic liar who emotionally abuses.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Landslide1920 ( new member #83685) posted at 3:48 AM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
I'm planning to D (it's 4 1/2 months post DDay for me). The A changed everything for me in how I view my marriage, my STBXWH, my vision for the future and my family, and myself. I realized there was no way forward in this M without hating my WH (and myself for staying) and while I was with him post DDay I found myself going deeper and deeper into despair, anger and depression. Since WH and I have S (2 1/2 months ago), I've felt so much more like me. It's not been easy, but I feel confident it's the right choice for me. It's not somewhere I ever thought I would be, as I viewed STBXWH as my soulmate. I was wrong.
What I guess it boils down to, is the trite but true saying...the A was a dealbreaker for me.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:42 AM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
It was a last straw for me. After about a year of falls, are including a few months of separation, he continued to lie and to cheat. Despite having just lost my home in a wildfire and lost my job, it was the right thing for me to do, and I have no regrets at all. That doesn’t mean it was easy, but it does mean that every day I knew it was the right thing to do, looking back, even if he had been the perfect WS, I think it was just always a dealbreaker for me. I would never have been able to let go of the anger and resentment.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 6:03 PM on Thursday, November 9th, 2023
A combination of what Ellie and crazyblindsided wrote. I decided I could not live one more second with that man. Similarly, I have never for one second regretted my decision to divorce.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 11:46 AM on Friday, November 10th, 2023
I divorced him for so many reasons. Ultimately, I was just done with his BS though. It was always a deal breaker but I was in shock and a little bit of denial. I had some crazy hope that maybe, somehow, he could fix what he broke. But after all the lies and betrayal, and finally coming out of my shock, I knew I couldn't stay in that sham of a M. I was done with being with someone who was NEVER going to treat me as good as I treated him. I was done with being so utterly disrespected. I was done with dealing with his psycho mistress. I was done being the affair police. I was done with doubting myself and that I couldn't live without him. I no longer had anything to lose by leaving, and nothing to gain by staying.
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
Topic is Sleeping.
