SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I might be wrong, but I suppose those who would cheat by having a quick fling or a one night stand or the like are more likely to be men.

In you experience, did the woman always cheat with men they knew fairly well and were comfortable with?

[This message edited by techie49 at 8:11 PM, Friday, April 19th]

There is no always. Women sometimes have one night stands too.

However, a quick google search says 90 percent of affairs start in the workplace. I don’t know if that is accurate but it seems to be the most common thing we see here.

I cheated with a coworker. I think it was less about safety for me. What happened was really just a lot of smaller crossing of boundaries and escalating that. I don’t think I would have sought out an affair to have a one night stand because like a lot of other women it was more about the emotional aspects of the affair. But there are no hard fast rules, there are women who look for no strings attached kits like there are men who are out having emotional affairs.

My WW had one PA one ONS and many EA / online A’s. None of them were within our circle, they were all strangers. The PA was a guy she met at a bar on a GNO stayed in touch and met up with him for 2 months after. I think it’s not really gender specific, it’s seeking external validation to ease internal insecurity.

My WH married LTAP was the cliché of being the object of his unrequired "love" of youth

Mine met his AP at a bar watching sports while I was in Vegas for work. You’d have thought it would be me hooking up… but no.

He had an online affair with an amateur pornographer he met on a porn forum.

My H's Craigslist ads stated he was...a happily married man looking for NSA sex while working in that country. Supposedly he also told the women he contacted on Whatsapp the same thing. Most of the women called him a pig for doing that to his wife...or simply ignored him. Only ONE woman agreed to meet up with him...because she told him she was obsessed with America .

However...that adultery co-conspirator told my H that he was her 3rd PA (she also had numerous OA's). Her 1st PA was with her Aunt's boyfriend...because she had admired him from when she was a child. I have a feeling that this man was probably a predator who had been grooming her from the time she was a child.

Her 2nd PA was with her boss because she told my H that she thought he was hot . This happened when she was married. Her H found out about it and left her after that. She had been divorced about 18 months before she had her PA with my H. She started saying the "I love you's" about 2 weeks after they started seeing each other.

I have no idea if any of what the adultery co-conspirator told my H was true...but if so...it seems that 2 out of 3 of her PA's were with men she knew fairly well.

I have two dear friends whose WHs cheated with co-workers over long periods of time. My XWH used sex workers for ONSs. So it can be difficult to generalise.

[This message edited by Perdita1 at 10:14 PM, Friday, April 19th]

My fWW's AP was her boss.

Coworker for my wife.

Friend for my SIL (who is self employed).

Coworker for my female friend that was in a 3 year LTA.

Coworker for another of my wife's female friends.

Coworker for my friend's wife.

Colleague at a conference for a another of my wife's female friends at a conference recently.

Coworker for my male friend. He also previously was a serial cheater on his previous fiancee (they never got married).

As for at *my* workplace, it is an engineering company and skews heavily male. I'm not aware of any affairs.

My WH's AP was a work colleague he met when she was in one of the corporate classes he was teaching.

She worked at a site 3,000 miles away.

Their A was mostly emotional through emails and one hookup at his hotel. They were planning a second hookup when I found out.

My XWH met his AP at one of his AA meetings. You know, that ole' 13th step of AA. That was his favorite step.

The affairs I know of were military and in online secret groups that were supposedly mildly political but were actually like a bunch of adolescents in middle aged and older bodies ruining lives and familys with their whining about their spouses and hook ups. Looking back it was probably about anywhere that exwh found convenient so probably the gym, apartment complex and women he met (customers) at work.

WW had an A with a patient she was treating who was a cop. The second AP I know nothing about.

Mine's unusual. Check my profile if you want to find out.

My fww had an ea/pa with her boss 9yrs older than her, she 22. I think he groomed her and after it ended I'm reasonably sure he moved on to another in the office. Not making an excuse for her, she made her choices on her own and was into it. She was also a little too close with another guy a few years older. I once thought it was ea/pa but convinced now it was not physical but inappropriate.

My employment; remote facilities are 95 % male yet one affair took place that went on to divorces and the aps getting married. Later on one of the aps tried again but was shut down by harassment charges. Our headquarters is another story about 50/50 male female. Several affairs are at least suspected and a couple confirmed.

The workplace is fertile ground for affairs to begin and escalate. Someone said 90%. I think that is a little high, maybe 75%. I would include work conference ONS's as workplace origin.

A1: ONS with a friend of a friend.

A2: NSA PA with much older woman he met in a chat room on AOL.

A3: Single COW.

My husband’s affair was with a coworker. They went on a work trip together and that sparked it, and their poor boundaries, delusional thought processes, and selfish choices fanned the flames.

Statistics are hard to reconcile with surveys of men and women, in many things, but particularly when it comes to cheating.

Statisticians explain that the variances in the data indicate that that a significant degree of lying is still going on in anonymous surveys, skewing the data.

But, all those men having one night stands with women, have to have a sufficient supply of women willing to have one night stands with men.

My FWS met her AP, random guy behind the counter at a shop for a specific hobby that I introduced her to, he or she started flirting, he or she reciprocated, she would not or can not tell me what was said, but he eventually suggested they meet up in a parking lot after closing, and they had an intense make out session, and the next evening she fucked him in the shop after closing, while I was home with the kids. It evolved into more than a ONS, but it is clear that she was up for a ONS as well.

She barely knew him.

My XWW had an affair with a coworker. She was in the medical field and I found out later the whole office was basically fooling around with each other for years. I divorced her and her AP's wife divorced him also.