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 crazycatlady (original poster member #12849) posted at 9:03 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2024

My day was almost 18 years ago and the FOW just tried to befriend my husband on Facebook. Should I tell her husband? I have screenshots from her most recent fishing expedition (last freaking week) as well as her last try in 2017 where she told my husband that their " time was real and she will love him forever."

I will send it to his work email.

[This message edited by crazycatlady at 9:04 PM, Tuesday, May 14th]

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare

posts: 1868   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2006   ·   location: Etherville
id 8836462
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HellIsNotHalfFull ( member #83534) posted at 9:10 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2024

I think you should send it to him absolutely. Especially the I will forever love you crap. As a BH, I would want to know if my WW was sending that to any man. Don’t care if it’s 18 years later.

Me mid 40s BH
Her 40s STBX WW
3 year EA 1 year PA.
DDAY 1 Feb 2022. DDAY 2 Jun 2022. DDAY 3/4/5/6/7 July 2024
Nothing but abuse and lies and abuse false R for three years. Divorcing and never looking back.

posts: 528   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2023   ·   location: U.S.
id 8836465
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 crazycatlady (original poster member #12849) posted at 9:12 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2024

I sent it. Fuck that bitch. She is evil.

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare

posts: 1868   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2006   ·   location: Etherville
id 8836466
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Groot1988 ( member #84337) posted at 9:13 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2024

I sent it. Fuck that bitch. She is evil.


I woulda too.

Married 5 years (together 11) Four children Me Bs 36Him WH 35- 4 month PA Dday Oct 6- lots of TT final disclosure Jan 16.

"If we walk through hell we might as well hold hands, we should make this a home"- citizen soldier

posts: 465   ·   registered: Jan. 6th, 2024   ·   location: Darker side of gray
id 8836467
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 9:23 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2024

Holy crap. My DDay was 20 years ago and I'm reasonably sure the AP still carries a torch for my H, based on social media posts. People have told me that it's unlikely; that she's probably moved on. Yeah well, some of them don't move on, do they?!

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1544   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8836470
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BreakingBad ( member #75779) posted at 1:17 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

I sent it. Fuck that bitch. She is evil.


Good for you. I would definitely go scorched earth in that situation.

Let her tend to her own mess at home.

"...lately it's not hurtin' like it did before. Maybe I am learning how to love me more."[Credit to Sam Smith]

posts: 511   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2020
id 8836494
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HellIsNotHalfFull ( member #83534) posted at 5:13 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

I would have done the same, I feel that was the right call. It’s pretty pathetic to be pinning over an AP almost 2 decades later. Clearly OW hasn’t gotten her shit together at all.

Me mid 40s BH
Her 40s STBX WW
3 year EA 1 year PA.
DDAY 1 Feb 2022. DDAY 2 Jun 2022. DDAY 3/4/5/6/7 July 2024
Nothing but abuse and lies and abuse false R for three years. Divorcing and never looking back.

posts: 528   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2023   ·   location: U.S.
id 8836527
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:15 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Agree with what you did. That woman needs to be out of your life immediately. How pathetic that she is still reaching out..

Meanwhile, please take care of yourself. I’m sure this was a very unpleasant shock.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6226   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8836532
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Luna10 ( member #60888) posted at 7:50 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Can I ask what was your WH’s reaction? Did he tell you? Did you discover by yourself?

Dday - 27th September 2017

posts: 1857   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: UK
id 8836538
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Copingmybest ( member #78962) posted at 9:16 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Good on you for contacting her BS. If there is one thing that infidelity has taught me. If any man EVER sticks their nose into my world again, they will rue the day that they ever crossed that line. There are no limits to the hell that I will bring upon their world.

posts: 316   ·   registered: Jun. 16th, 2021   ·   location: Midwest
id 8836542
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 11:46 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

As a cop I had to learn when to turn the blind eye on what was happening. Like... someone doing 2-3 miles over the limit was technically breaking the law, but if that was on a wide, empty road then maybe a short flashing of my lights would suffice. No need to pull anyone over and issue citations.

Well...
I’m flashing my Attaché lights...
This forum does not allow name-calling.
It’s more lenient of the original poster is the one doing so – therefore my hesitation in even flashing the lights... But lets make life that little bit easier for si staff by avoiding it henceforth.

But then - maybe by associating the female gender of my favorite animals to the OW might be an affront to the whole K9 population, and that might be worth turning on the emergency lights... grin


BTW – crazycatlady – I think you did right in sending it to her husband.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 12712   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8836548
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 crazycatlady (original poster member #12849) posted at 6:42 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Sorry for my language. I was definitely angry. I love dogs and she is no dog, she wouldn’t even make a good tick.
As for my husbands reaction, he was upset as well. He was aghast that she was still trolling. Apparently she has many former targets she does this to. I found it in his junk mail, unopened. She had tried to befriend him on Facebook and also tried to send a message thru Facebook messenger. I was looking for emails I had forwarded about our upcoming vacation and thought they were in the junk folder and voila, there it was. My husband is very untech savvy. I’ve seen three year olds with better tech skills.
I have yet to hear from her husband. Doubt that I will but if he does contact me is there any advice yall have?

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare

posts: 1868   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2006   ·   location: Etherville
id 8836588
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HellIsNotHalfFull ( member #83534) posted at 7:25 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Tell him what you know, provide any evidence you have. I assume he knows about the original A 18 years ago. If not, and he asks, provide that as well. Then honestly, after that I would keep out of it and let him handle it his way.

Especially since the A is very much over based on what you said, I would strongly recommend not getting involved past giving evidence he asks for. Anything past that has massive potential to bring crazy OW back into your life and you both don’t need that. I would suggest be prepared to block him as well. Your focus is your marriage/life.

Me mid 40s BH
Her 40s STBX WW
3 year EA 1 year PA.
DDAY 1 Feb 2022. DDAY 2 Jun 2022. DDAY 3/4/5/6/7 July 2024
Nothing but abuse and lies and abuse false R for three years. Divorcing and never looking back.

posts: 528   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2023   ·   location: U.S.
id 8836599
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 crazycatlady (original poster member #12849) posted at 8:12 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Excellent advice! Thank you all!

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare

posts: 1868   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2006   ·   location: Etherville
id 8836609
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Howcthappen ( member #80775) posted at 9:31 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Wow- I thought NOT name calling was for people who were not active members. Thanks for letting me know.

I am glad you sent it to her husband. She was fine with her attempt to blow up your world.

Three years since DdayNever gonna be the sameReconcilingThe sting is still present

posts: 225   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2022   ·   location: DC
id 8836620
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hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 10:07 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Holy crap. My DDay was 20 years ago and I'm reasonably sure the AP still carries a torch for my H, based on social media posts. People have told me that it's unlikely; that she's probably moved on. Yeah well, some of them don't move on, do they?!


Hehe I won’t tell you that again! And the Pinterest thing was weird too. I looked it up, apparently you can’t block people as well in that app and that must be why this is a thing!

7 years of hard work - WS and BS - Reconciled

posts: 7607   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2017   ·   location: Arizona
id 8836632
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 10:47 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Hehe I won’t tell you that again! And the Pinterest thing was weird too. I looked it up, apparently you can’t block people as well in that app and that must be why this is a thing!

laugh You're not the only one! Everyone who hears about this nonsense says the same thing. tongue

I wish like hell that I could block her. All that blocking does on Pinterest is make it so that we can't message each other or save each other's pins. I'd like to be able to block myself from creeping on her.

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1544   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8836636
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 3:52 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2024

Good for you for exposing! Keep your evidence in s very safe place.

Consider hiring an attorney to send a Cease & Desist. Make sure OBS gets a copy.

Sadly, we had to do that. LTAP just wouldn't go away and every so often would try to creep back in.

Pathetic and disgusting.

Be extra gentle with yourself. And pat yourself on the back for being a badass :)

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3916   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8836862
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Copingmybest ( member #78962) posted at 7:41 AM on Saturday, May 18th, 2024

LOL! I just revisited this post after commenting the other day and I was just about to write "where’s Chaos when we need her!" For more insight to which I’m referring, read her signature at the bottom of her posts.

Chaos, you rock! 😁

posts: 316   ·   registered: Jun. 16th, 2021   ·   location: Midwest
id 8836961
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 crazycatlady (original poster member #12849) posted at 5:29 PM on Sunday, May 19th, 2024

It's been a rough week. For everyone that posted I'd like to give a virtual hug and thanks. I never heard back from her husband. Not sure I would but there's always the chance she intercepted the email. oh well.
Thank you again for your timely and excellent advice.

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare

posts: 1868   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2006   ·   location: Etherville
id 8837043
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