SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This is going to be long so I apologize in advance.

To start, HT and I are in the process of liquidating our home to start a new chapter in our life of traveling. We have been thinking out our belongings through garage sales and selling online. We have been doing minor repairs to improve the appeal of the house and we should be ready to have it on the market by the end of next week. We are trying to get it going before the holidays so that we can sell it in a timely manner. This has been our plan for several months now.

With anything there have been some roadblocks along the way. Our youngest child who has BPD (with significant other) moved back in because they procrastinated to look for a new apartment. Once again they are procrastinating and I think until just recently they didn’t believe us that this was happening. We are trying to help the best we can, but I feel it’s time for us to make a separation for Everyone’s mental health. My youngest needs to learn to take care of themself and learn to get back up without our help. Unfortunately with BPD also comes the fear of abandonment so it puts a stressful twist on all of this. We are dealing with that the best we can while continuing to move forward with our plans.

Part of this process has been making routine doctor appointments to get prescriptions and health records to date. On Friday I had an eye exam. I have been having increased trouble with reading vision and expected her to change my prescription. I have had poor eyesight since I was young. I am no stranger to the eye exam so when she started asking me questions I don’t usually get asked I knew something was different about this appointment. She was examining my retina scan quite closely and even double checked to make sure they were indeed mine. It turns out I have Myopic Macular Degeneration. This is different than age related macular degeneration in the fact that it is caused by my severe near sightedness. As of now there is no cure, however with supplements and good cardiovascular health it can slow down the process.

From what I have read online the typical timeline is approximately 10 years from onset. I don’t know exactly when my onset was but if I count from today, I will be blind by the time I reach 60 years old. It could be sooner than that that I will have to stop driving. It is also possible that time could be kind and it could take longer. It is hard to say, but I do know there has definitely been change in my vision this year.

Like I said, I have already had bad eyes, but it’s another thing to come to the realization that my vision has a definitive shelf life. I am trying to look on the bright side. HT and I have already begun the process of making these plans to see the world. I am more motivated than ever now to travel and see the wonders out there while I still can. There is so much I haven’t seen yet and I think that when we are traveling it will mean just that much more when we are out there.

Fortunately, the career path I have chosen is perfect for someone in my situation. Occupational Therapy is one of the recommendations made when you start to lose vision. I can see myself getting involved in low vision clinics and working with others in my position.

I honestly don’t know what the future holds for me, but I do know that I will definitely start having a different perspective than I have in the past.

I'm so sorry, WOEz.

I also have a whole lot of confidence that you'll figure out something good, but there's no mistake in thinking life would be a lot easier if you didn't have to deal with this.

With or without eyesight, you're still you. That's pretty special, in a good way.

I can only imagine how scary that must have been in the doctor’s office. And how you are feeling about the prognosis.
I am glad you and HT have some time to figure out how to proceed together.

Enjoy your travels, accept whatever you are feeling, and know that you have the strength and support to handle whatever life throws at you.

Woez:

Heavy heart here reading your words - the ways life can kick one around are unfair and often outright well...stupid.

What I do know is you are mighty and resilient and brave. Those will serve you well as you figure out these new challenges.

In many ways, it seems as if you and HT are investing in yourselves all around right now. And that is brilliant. With your career, I'm certain you will seek out all the available resources as you sort things out.

After this logistical (and difficult) phase of "leaving port" as it were, I hope you delight in your adventures and pop in here from time to time to share bits of them with us.

Wish you were sharing with us that you had won a lottery rather than this news.

You are the type of person that always does the best with the cards dealt.
Knowing you I know you will read up and follow all the advice on how to slow this down and maybe even contain it. A quick search and I found some documents on promising treatments and methods to contain (or limit) the damage. This is just one more battle to win.

Big hugs to you. Research options and don’t take any diagnosis as a sentence. Nothing but positive vibes headed to you.

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the kind words.

I am going to take this in stride and just love my life the best I know how. While we begin our travels I will have more time on my hands so I plan on taking some CE courses on low vision. Perhaps when we end up settling down I can find a great clinic to be a part of.

Honestly, my biggest worry is driving. I already don’t like driving at night. Hopefully this will be a slow process so that I will have my independence for a long while.

(((WOEZ))) So sorry to hear this news. I know you won't let this hold you down. I hope you share your travels with us so we can see too!!!

WOEZ - I am so sorry to hear this news, especially as you are on the brink of some exciting changes. (I wondered why they elves were in a different spot this year!)

I'm so glad you were already far ahead in your process to make life changes that would allow you to see the world - now your travels and experiences will be that much more meaningful. I will send positive thoughts that your child finds a healthy path forward, that your home sells quickly and that you and HT can start soon to have some incredible adventures together!

Oh no ((((WOEz))))

I'm so sorry, I hope that you are able to figure it all out.

Your positive attitude will certainly help you out.

I haven't had a car for over 5 years, I didn't feel like driving any more with all the heavy duty ADs and other meds that I am on. There is very good public transport where I live, and I also pay a driver monthly for trips that are less public transport friendly. I don't miss not driving AT. ALL.

Not sure if that is an option where you live, but perhaps something to think about.

((((WOEz & HT))))

Hugs, WOES!! You have an amazing attitude.

Gosh WOES, I'm so sorry to hear that. As usual, your grace and positive attitude are amazing.

((big hugs))

Well, damn!

So sorry you are facing this.

So great that the "seeing the world" process is already in the works!

I sure hope you can find ways to hold it off as long as possible. 10 years is a long time for science to come up with solutions and/or ways to hold it at bay.

My dad was blind for the last 25 yrs of his life. He was able to go on working with special technology.

Here’s hoping y’all get going sooner than later. I know you will appreciate the experience even more now!

Oh my dear friend, I'm so sorry to hear this. However, if anybody can persevere through this, it's you and HT. Sending you my love and support. If there is anything I can do, let me know. I'm always here for you both. (((Woes & HT)))

Keep up with healthy eating and exercise and hopefully that blindness is slowed way down. There will be self driving vehicles before long and medical breakthroughs. My dad had a bad diagnosis but through careful diet he has done far better than any of the specialists thought. He's still around, still active.

With this time you can appreciate this beautiful world. I think you have many more years of vision if you maintain your health and reduce toxins. Never let fear take your happiness. No one knows the future.

Thanks everyone.

It’s weird. Nothing in my has changed. Other than I am hyper aware of annoyances in my vision. I’m still just keeping on so not a big deal. Just now I have "a thing". I guess with age everyone does, lol.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I knew someone with this diagnosis about 30 years ago. It was for her a slow progression into blindness. It was longer than 10 years I think.

Two things she found helpful. The long progression gave her time to adjust basic lifestyle items. And she found many resources that were free or at a small cost.

I will hope for the best for you.

That is scary. Will keep you in my prayers, sending SI juju.

Damn. I just want to say when you start a post with "Unexpected diagnosis" in the title, give us a clue. Like "Unexpected diagnosis that really suck but not fatal" or something succinct like that. I was scared to open this thread. I love you and HT like family, and I'm sorry to hear about this. Really sorry.

On your travels, Skyline Drive is a beautiful area. We are on the way :)

I’m sorry to read this, aging sucks but this new chapter of travel will be fun and exciting.

Are you going full time RVing? I’ve never shared my lifestyle publicly here, but I might know something about it 😉