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Newest Member: Survivingdday

Divorce/Separation :
Stay No Contact - Post It Here 2

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Bleu ( member #14243) posted at 2:17 AM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

You were a dick during the marriage. Isn't that enough? Must you be a complete asshole now.

Remember, you only have yourself to blame for all that has happened and all that is to come.

Bitch.

BS (Me) - 42
WS (It) - 42

Coupled in 1998
DD#1 - 2002
DD#2 - 2003
Married in 2010
DD#3 - 2012
And many more . . .

Divorcing

Two gorgeous, funny and fun little kids

posts: 293   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2007
id 8587598
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NeverEnough28 ( member #58215) posted at 1:03 AM on Wednesday, September 16th, 2020

I just want us to be together again. I just want to go back in time. This is killing me.

I may be knocked down, but I'm not knocked out.

posts: 56   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2017
id 8588001
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heartbrokeninNC ( member #72472) posted at 4:05 PM on Wednesday, September 16th, 2020

Took DD16 to the eyeball doctor today that you said you'd do for the past 2 years when we had the insurance. First thing out of DD16's mouth was "mom screwed us over again" because I got soaked for cash. I wanted to text you then but you aren't worth my time or energy. You were never there for us. Fuck Off!!!

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8588180
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 1:21 AM on Sunday, September 20th, 2020

I hate how you make me feel.

Standing tall

posts: 2229   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8589549
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99problems ( member #59373) posted at 10:56 PM on Sunday, September 20th, 2020

Its always all about you.

It always was.

Yes, I do hope you are miserable for the rest of your life.

You will be.

I will, hopefully, recover and move on.

You never will. You never did. You don't have the fucking guts to do this.

And you think you took care of me. You think you were a good wife!

You were TERRIBLE. Nobody could be worse.

Enjoy the fun times, they won't be around much longer. You are going to be such a hot mess once reality bitch-slaps the shit out of you. And I'll be there, laughing.

Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,

posts: 1010   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8589784
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Tinnat ( member #71605) posted at 10:50 AM on Monday, September 21st, 2020

Never forget how I loved you from the beginning right up until the end.

Never forget how I waited for you and believed in you. For much longer than I ever should have.

Never forget how I trusted you even when I had no reason left to trust.

I will never forget how within 3 weeks you flipped from telling me that from me you know what true love is and how very determined you were to come back to the marriage, to moving in with a woman who, in your words, is very different from you and was putting you through hell.

I will never forget how we announced our divorce to our daughters on Monday, and on Friday you introduced her to the woman who destroyed their parents’ marriage and played happy families at IKEA with her. While I deal with the fallout.

And you really need to ask me how I am?

[This message edited by Tinnat at 4:51 AM, September 21st (Monday)]

posts: 52   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019   ·   location: Europe
id 8589907
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betrayedafter20 ( member #72875) posted at 4:22 PM on Monday, September 21st, 2020

I watched the video of my nephews wedding this morning. It was horrible to hear all the promises that you had said to me repeated by someone else, knowing in my position that you couldn't follow through, trying to be happy for them, but knowing that they have no idea of the struggles ahead of them that will test their hopeful promises..

I am trying to stay NC and be in control of the dynamic - yet I feel like you are the one that is torturing me. I remain pleasant and only discuss the things around the kids and business when necessary. But even in those, there is no personal chat involved. Not even to ask how I am doing??? What is that. How can you claim to love me and be so sorry this all happened, we are moving on trying to find a new, separate normal - you claimed to your family you still want to be my "best friend" so - but you won't even make a joke or be even pleasant? Are you afraid of me now? I have not shown vulnerability, so maybe you are confused.. You're afraid I will get angry again.. In our texts we go back and forth very briefly every couple of days making plans. I get "ok" and "yes" and "no". There's no "sounds like a plan" or DS#1 did something funny today, not even any connection about our kids.

You were eager to come over and do yardwork and help with projects that needed to get done around the house in your remorse - now there's suddenly no interest in even who's mowing the lawn..

I asked you if you would finish a couple of small things you have promised weeks ago - you haven't said a word about when you can come and do that.

Your son didn't want to come over by you two weeks ago - I helped you navigate through it - but I got no thank you, just feeling like I'm "controlling" your typical defensive pushback - well guess what, it's not about you, it's about our child and how he's feeling, selfish ass... Next time you're on your own, if he says he doesn't want to come, I'm not forcing him. don't be such a dick- he's afraid of you and your temper - how about examining that instead of saying he's too sensitive? Invalidating his feelings like you always have mine.

I am thinking you are involved with FAP again - you can't stand to be alone - you're so needy for admiration and your poor ego - and this is the distance I'm seeing.

Why aren't you groveling - saying you miss me - how sorry you are - and wish things could go back to a few years back when things were better - I want to be the one who says, yeah, it's too bad you blew it. I wish I knew what was going on in your head. It's so awkward now. How can it be so awkward after being partners for 25 years?? It makes me so sad. I think you have a hard time looking at my eyes.. pretty sure it's shame - yet I know you're on some level bad mouthing to someone.

You never even say anything about what you're working on in counseling. Maybe your counselor is telling you not to talk to me. Or maybe you're so sad inside, you're afraid of losing it in front of me so you're putting up a front.

I've been doing so good, I thought, but maybe I'm not, maybe I've just been busying myself so I don't have to think about it. Or maybe I'm just having a bad day. But it's taking every ounce of self control right now not to call you in my tearful state and just have you comfort me. But I know it's just a fantasy in my head that you would even respond that way anymore.

I feel like I need us to talk about it - but everyone tells me not to. I guess maybe in my heart I know you can't handle talking about it, your defensiveness will kick in and I will not get the expected response - because you are incapable of being human around me - you've been defensive so long you don't remember how to be vulnerable and tell me how you really feel. You know, if you told me you were sad and missed me, it doesn't mean I would want you to come back. Maybe that's what you're afraid of. It would just give me some validation.. That our 25 years meant something more than me just "helping you with your business" and "being the mother of your child". What happened to the first 15 years of really good stuff? do you even remember???

I don't know what's right anymore. I'm working on myself, and this is just a bad day I guess.

Me: BW, 52, BC survivor x2
Married 20 yrs, together 25
14 yo boy Autism spectrum
16 yo typical functioning
DD#1 2/6/13 PA, False R 4+ yrs
DD#2 2/20/20 EA(mutual friend) learned of another PA same day - serial
DD#3 2 weeks later W/PA AP
Separated 5/

posts: 293   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2020   ·   location: IL
id 8589986
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Breakingapart ( member #74151) posted at 3:41 AM on Tuesday, September 22nd, 2020

“Good dad”

Really...you chose her over your kids again this weekend... good dad

You told me you’d given me enough money for the month...good dad...

Your a selfish, self centered asshole. I don’t know you. “ I will always take care of you” bullshit!

I think your pissed that the kids don’t want to see you or talk to you and you’re going to continue to put me through hell for it.

As long as I have my kids...I will be okay. So FUCK YOU!!!

posts: 166   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2020   ·   location: Canada
id 8590205
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turningtables114 ( member #35054) posted at 9:59 PM on Friday, September 25th, 2020

He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He doesn't care.

BSO - me 32
WSO - him 32

posts: 223   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2012
id 8591498
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99problems ( member #59373) posted at 4:49 AM on Saturday, September 26th, 2020

I hate that our daughter has to put up with you as a mom. HATE. You're so selfish and terrible. I HATE myself for picking you as a partner to bring such a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent young woman onto this world.

You weren't even a good pet mom. WTF was I thinking?!?

[This message edited by Idiotmcstupid at 10:50 PM, September 25th, 2020 (Friday)]

[This message edited by 99problems at 4:50 AM, Saturday, September 26th]

Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,

posts: 1010   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8591577
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Trust55 ( member #60672) posted at 2:34 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2020

Keep on being the lowlife person you are.

Breaking news after no resolution to the divorce I filed for JUNE 2017 I hired a new attorney. I will be rid of your cruel, evil face by the end of 2020 if I’m lucky. I know luck has nothing to do with the courts but you continue to give me more evidence for a trial.

NO CONTACT is definitely the way to survive. You can’t hurt me or provoke me anymore, one of your favorite pastimes.

SI has given me the help and tools to SURVIVE.

Me - BS - D Day 03.19.2017 ( 2 days before our 31 wedding anniversary)False R Divorce in progress FILED JUNE 2017,
TRIAL JUNE 2022! It’s pretty sad married to a LIAR and CHEATER.

posts: 107   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2017   ·   location: Oklahoma
id 8594355
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 3:08 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2020

I really hope karma is coming for you one day after everything you have put me through. All of the healing I have had to do because of you.

I have never met a nastier person in my life and I cannot believe I married you and had kids with you. I feel bad for the kids that I chose such a dick as a father for them.

You keep touting how much of a good person you are good people don't destroy other people. You are an evil disgusting animal.

I was hoping you would implode but seems you are thriving and even spending money on new furniture and other things while I get to live in a tiny apartment. Doesn't matter I get peace of mind now that I don't have to listen to your sorry ass anymore.

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8912   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8594361
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Outoflove2020 ( member #72682) posted at 7:04 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2020

How fucking DARE YOU. How DARE YOU text me and say you feel terrible about what happened today.

YOU are the fucking reason your daughter feels anxious and sad. You KNOW she doesn't deal with emotion and conflict very well, yet you've done NOTHING to help her through it. You never explained to her what was happening, why her world was being turned upside down.

Am I upset? Of course I am. I'm devastated. I love your kids like they were my own. Of course I wanted to stay in their lives but only if they wanted it - I NEVER wanted them to feel an obligation to have a relationship with me. I'm actually super proud of your daughter for advocating for herself. Good for her. I will 100% respect her boundaries of not continuing a relationship with me.

But this is on you. Your selfishness. Your complete lack of regard for anyone other than yourself. I'm GLAD you are feeing terrible. I hope your soul is shriveling up inside you and that you feel more shame than you can bear. But it's probably all a lie anyway. I'm not sure you are capable of feeling shame.

Fuck you. FUCK. YOU.

DDay 1/15/2020.
Separated 3/1/2020

Still healing but in a better place

posts: 375   ·   registered: Jan. 28th, 2020   ·   location: DC Area
id 8594403
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99problems ( member #59373) posted at 8:11 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2020

Lol, it's so pathetic. You are soooooo pathetic.

To be able to see what I see... You would crumble from shame.

I wouldn't trade my insights into what you are for a million dollars, even though they keep me in constant pain. Because I will never operate, in regards to you, from a broken, decieved viewpoint ever again.

I have your number, I know your bullshit. You can never pretend to me, never make me believe your lies, never get into my soft place(if I even have one any more).

You will always be a creature undeserving of my love, my kindness, my pity, even my contempt.

You do not even deserve my hate. And that is what's next for me. To stop hating you. It will happen, and I will be totally free of ever even having to consider what you are, were, or could be.

I welcome that day with open arms.

Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,

posts: 1010   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8594427
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CallingSpades ( member #71287) posted at 11:09 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2020

He's posted on FakeBook. He's at the Museum of the Bible.

I'm NOT POSTING: "I hear the Exodus 20 exhibit is amazing. Check it out! )"

FYI that's the 10 Commandments. Adultery broken 5/18, coveting neighbor's wife (ya same wife) broken 4/17 and (dif wife) summer 2010.

Enjoy the museum faker.

Me BS/40
WH 40 EA/PA, DDay 5/19
M 12 years, 2 kids.
Filed for D 1/2020

posts: 234   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2019
id 8594467
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Bleu ( member #14243) posted at 1:58 AM on Friday, October 9th, 2020

Will you ever be a considerate parent?

Will you ever think about what is best for them over what you want?

I just made myself laugh.

I have never met people who have such cognitive dissonance. People who are so dogmatic and don't alter their actions based on . . . science, health, education. You know, all that good stuff.

It's completely mind boggling.

BS (Me) - 42
WS (It) - 42

Coupled in 1998
DD#1 - 2002
DD#2 - 2003
Married in 2010
DD#3 - 2012
And many more . . .

Divorcing

Two gorgeous, funny and fun little kids

posts: 293   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2007
id 8595773
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:35 AM on Monday, October 12th, 2020

Get a life, loser.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8596610
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skeetermooch ( member #72169) posted at 5:11 AM on Monday, October 12th, 2020

How dare you ask me if we can date?? You say maybe we can never be married again but can we date? WTF for???

The only person who would benefit from the NSA dating you're asking for is you. You can make it look like we're still in a relationship/image management, you won't have to feel untethered and alone, you can have the assurance that I'm waiting around, hoping you get over your "problem" just in case one day you decide you want to try being a husband again...

I get a cluster B, loser with the integrity of an ally cat, constant triggers and maybe if I'm lucky an STI.

Sex - nope - your constant hooker habit would guarantee more horrible encounters in which I'm reminded that I don't do it for you. Money - nope - you need that for your hookers.

Help with anything at all - nope - because you're a selfish prick.

So, in summary you're offering nothing to me, except pain, in exchange for getting to have your cake and eating it too.

No thanks, cheater. I'm good. And fuck you times a trillion. One day I'll stop visiting the spam folder to read your idiotic missives. Fuck off and die asshole. Leave me alone.

Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021

posts: 1272   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2019
id 8596647
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:54 AM on Monday, October 12th, 2020

You contact me to tell me you are behind on bills and wah don't think you can take care of the kids. You make more money than I do jerkoff and you just went fishing how much did that cost

It's called being an adult.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 12:54 AM, October 12th (Monday)]

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8912   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8596651
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:03 AM on Thursday, October 29th, 2020

6 years ago this week you met your AP. 5.5 years ago you started your A. 4 years I found out the truth. 3 years ago you broke NC with her. No wonder I hate this time of year.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6226   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8603139
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